Ok, forgive the formatting. This was originally a greentext post for all the /b/tards at 4chan. It's also a long read but if you can get past that then it is actually a quite interesting story that happened to me years ago.
be 22 active duty air force assigned to Nellis in Las Vegas not disclosing job, but no stranger to weapons and tactics get pulled in to supervisor's office one day told I've just been "voluntold" to participate in a training exercise with DOD no other information given other than reporting instructions pretty much any question I asked was answered with "I have no fucking idea " report to conference room at base hotel next morning per instruction see about 12 other guys from my unit also voluntold to be there five guys enter room in civilian clothes introduce themselves as the "WHITEBOX" Group Assume it's an acronym for something, but never explained told we will be upgrading our security clearances hours of paperwork, only told we are participating in a force on force exercise released back to our unit crack jokes about how the exercise is a lie and we will be experimented on return to regular job and time passes eventually assume that it was canceled and forget the whole thing
about 2 months later supervisor pulls me aside and tells me that I need to report to a briefing the next day says it’s about "some WHITEBOX exercise" has no idea what it is and doesn't seem to care. once again report to base hotel with the other 12 guys WHITEBOX guys show up and pick us up in a van driven off base to some random office building and escorted into the offices of the Department of Energy, WTF? mystery only deepens, what the fuck is happening? what if this actually is some evil experimental shit more hours of paperwork and security/safety briefings by random suits had to fill out and sign a non-disclosure agreement and that threatened arrest if violated required to turn in cell phones and any other electronic devices in our possession our cell phones get locked in a cabinet while the office phone in the room gets unplugged WHITEBOX guys finally return and fire up a power point briefing first slide just titled WHITBOX Exercise 0X slide also labeled in bold red letters "CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET / NOFORN / ORCON this is really starting to feel serious
WHITEBOX Exercise finally explained told that for the next two weeks we will be role playing as OPFOR (opposing forces) we will try to attack and penetrate a DOD facility and carry out a simulated act of sabotage facility is protected by a contracted privately owned security force security group is required by the DOD to carry out this exercise in order to audit their protection every couple of years if we succeed, security company fails the audit and looses the contract the exercise is the conclusion of a two week inspection of the security contractors and their procedures every exercise a random military unit is chosen as OPFOR "reminded that we are silent professionals and that this isn’t something we should be advertising shaving wavers granted and civilian attire only FUCKYEAH.jpg power point scrolls to a page with a google earth screenshot on it instantly recognize the picture it's Area 51 holyfuckingshit.exe are we are being told to break into Area 51? can't be real random unit bro pipes up out of nowhere "Is that fucking Area 51?" we are all fucking stoked later told not to call it Area 51 as that just makes you a total chode Groom Lake, Paradise Ranch, or Homey Airbase are the acceptable names many insiders simply refer to it as “The Base” also reminded of the possible legal action via UCMJ if we go around telling everyone about it One of the WHITEBOX guys is now our designated "insider threat" exercise is designed to simulate that someone inside has been comprised by a foreign government he will provide any information that we ask for that he has knowledge of or access to other WHITEBOX guys handle will handle exercise logistics they will provide any weapons or equipment that we request to carry out mission "within reason" told this is not a COD loadout screen
ground rules established... will only be provided with weapons that we are certified to carry weapons will be armed with blank rounds or completely empty also no vehicles will be utilized by us within the DOD property landmarkers simulating road chases are not authorized our insertion is simulated so we will already be escorted/processed through various checkpoints and dropped off near the base no impractical equipment requests, so no tanks, helos, surveillance drones, or scud missiles, lol any explosives we intend to simulate will be assessed by WHITEBOX so if we want to blow the perimeter fences we will tell them before hand, they will calculate the weight of the bang we would need, it would be simulated by rocks, and then someone would need to hump the weight number 1 rule established and stressed with a very serious tone we will be escorted by WHITEBOX evaluators at all times within the DOD landmarkers at no point are any of us authorized to be alone in the facility actual security is not laxed because of the exercise, nor is this a free pass to roam security personnel can still use real force in the event that we deviate from the established protocols shown various pictures within the airbase that most will never get to see a specific hangar is designated as our target building. we will need to gain access to that hangar and carry out an act of sabotage for our sabotage we will need to ///REDACTED/// obviously we won't be doing it for real so we will actually need complete a random task inside the hangar task will be designed to be as complex and time consuming as the real thing all while being hunted by the security force insider threat briefing continues, various elements of the base security procedures and day to day operations explained however, get the impression that the chosen source is someone with a generic admin position and is not actually involved with security we are also encouraged to do our own research and scour the interwebz for info about the base told to supply the URLs to WHITEBOX if we find anything of interest. sorry if we got your Alex Jones or Art Bell conspiracy blogs taken offline briefing finally concludes, we are reminded of our non-disclosure policy and taken back to Nellis and dismissed for the day
next day we all meet at Creech Air Force Base in Indian Springs, Nevada we will be using this location to build our plan of attack and do rehearsals/dry runs it's actually pretty cool because it's on us to plan our op, just a bunch of random Airmen periodically grill our insider with questions and start asking our other WHITEBOX guys for gear we tried to have our insider take pictures of the interior of our target hangar, but he got caught IRL he would be arrested and interrogated by the feds, and the whole op would be dead instead though the guys that caught him received kudos from the inspectors, and he just tells us nope have to rely on a whiteboard sketch of the inside decide to keep it simple, M4 riffles only however I am certified on the Barret M82 .50 cal. we decide that I will carry that heavy mother fucker as well as an M4 and provide overwatch from the distance kind of bummed out because im not going inside it will be on me to neutralize certain security positions that we have previous identified we remind our WHITEBOX guys that the M82 is an anti-material weapon with the ability to disable vehicles they tell us that I will just need to call my shots to the evaluator that I will be partnered with he will radio to the vehicles that they are destroyed and will need to stop driving guess I should mention that is also part of the disadvantage we have we will all be paired with WHITEBOX evaluators who will sort of act as referees during this simulated battle however they will all be wearing bright orange reflective vest identifying them as exercise officials that really fucks our ability to stay hidden and stealthy, but it is what it is also should mention that this is a daytime raid despite our objections sounds like they are setting us up for failure, but they remind us not to think of it like that this is all being done just so the evaluators can get a good look at the security's incident response procedures it's not an unannounced drill, the military doesn't really like to do that kind of thing especially with large scale exercises such as this everyone on the base know we are coming, there's no element of surprise here except with what kind of attack we prep it would be a real hot clusterfuck if the security contractors failed the audit heads would roll, people would get fired, and numerous officers would be relieved of command I still get to attack Area 51 so don't care as this is the coolest thing I've done in the military
our plan is starting to come together over the days decide to sacrifice one of us in a suicide bomb attack figure out which of us is the most "FNG" or lowest ranking and make him do it he will approach one of the ECPs (entry points to the base) on foot wearing a rucksack loaded with rocks (make-believe explosives) he will be wearing a uniform and will identify himself as Air Force and will franticly yell that he needs help we don't anticipate that he will make it that far or that the security will actually swallow this ruse however his goal is to get as close as he can to the ECP and yell allah ackbar and release his dead man's switch and try to take out what he can his evaluatoescort will drop a GBS (ground burst simulator) when he detonates GBS is a little miniature explosive device that just makes a really loud boom anyone who’s been through any type of military training is familiar with them, they are used to add stress and create excitement we are hoping this will be a distraction and will get as much security as possible to converge on that location the rest of us will assault from the other side of the base and try to breach the perimeter several of us will also be rucking explosive rocks for the breach chose a breach point that will have us crossing only a minimal portion of the flightline (place where aircraft operate) if we successfully simulate breaching the perimeter the exercise will be paused and we will be inprocessed through the ECP and brought into the base exercise will resume and we will continue to assault towards the target hangar I will stay outside in my sniper position and try to smoke what I can inside the hangar the team will cover the doors with simulated claymores and take up cover two guys will carry out the simulated sabotage act while the rest cover the doors WHITEBOX doesn't have any inert claymores to provide so the will be simulated with small weighted ammo cans the weight is really starting to become problematic so we abandon the claymores and decide to just cover the doors with firepower would really help if we had a vehicle, but not happening to be fair, vehicles wouldn't make it that close to the base if they tried to attack IRL armored or not
week one down, plan looking solid considering how much of our attack is simulated two weeks of planning is actually excessive not complaining though cause two weeks of hanging out and smoking and joking compared to normal work at Nellis only downside is the hour drive back and forth each day to Creech AFB casino right outside that base with awesome steak and eggs so not too bad though one of the WHITEBOX guys tells us he's actually employed by the Department of Energy he doesn't actually work at Groom Lake, he works at the Nevada Test Range the massive amount of Nevada landscape that is restricted and owned by the feds is actually impressive contrary to popular myth there is road access to Groom Lake via the adjacent test range, but not too many people actually make that drive. the 737 shuttle from McCarran Airport is how everyone gets there since the drive is long as fuck the main paved road through Rachel Nevada that all the tourist flock to doesn't really have any operational use anymore allegedly we will be driving there through the test range via a convoluted series of paved and dirt roads route is CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET, not kidding
DOE dude gives us a tour of the test range one day load cases of water in back of van drive to Mercury Nevada and stop at checkpoint inprocessed inside, get pictures taken and issued escorted visitor passes also required to wear radiation badges once inside get to see all that shit from The Hills Have Eyes, fake towns that were blown up with atomic bombs not as intact as they are portrayed in films though, they are pretty rekt or deconstructed show us a massive crater called the Sedan Crater in the 50's they experimented with using atomic bombs for mass excavation projects hoping they could just nuke the ground and build shit instead of fucking around with bulldozers pretty stupid and impractical but they didn't know any better back then they buried an atomic bomb a half a mile underground and blew it up Sedan Crater left behind as a result and the fucking thing is huge. they allegedly herded cattle down to the bottom of the crater afterwards to test the post fallout effects pretty fuckin savage, and it was actually stunning to look at two hour drive to Groom Lake though endless desert roads now see why we loaded the water, we’d be pretty fucked if the van broke down or got stuck get first distant look at the base without having to enter their checkpoints holyshit.mp4 very few people get to actually see what we are seeing to be honest though, looks like any other air force base I've ever seen except smaller besides the obvious fact that it is in the middle of bum fuck nowhere and its main runway is long as fuck also realize one of the reasons they didn't want us operating vehicles most roads are dirt and the entire lake bed is surrounded by "moon dust" everywhere moon dust is the ultra-fine sand found in certain parts of the desert with the consistency of flour it's also a total bitch to drive in and the security patrols getting stuck is a somewhat frequent occurrence told that they even have some of the AAFES fast food joints there that you find on any other base imagine working at a Burger King that you need a Top Secret security clearance for, how the fuck does that work??? noticed that despite being authorized to be here, we are still being watched by distant security patrols wonder if they know we are the bad guys that are going to be attacking the joint make some minor adjustments to the plan since the google earth pictures lack some detail conclude tour and take the 3 to 4 hour drive back home, most of us slept in the van
arrive at Creech next day and see that more WHITEBOX guys have been added to the mix, now there's like 20 of them for the past two weeks they have been inspecting the security contractors and its procedures you can tell a lot of them are ex-military based off of language and the people that are dipping and spiting in empty water bottles the mood is light, all of the exercise planning is finished, nothing to do the last two days we managed to borrow an empty hangar at Creech and used it as a mockup of our target hangar to run rehearsals no longer asking our insider questions about security, instead start asking completely ridiculous questions about conspiracies for lulz accuse some of them of being reptilians to see how they react, some of them get legit uncomfortable before you go sounding off, doubt they are hiding anything, some folks just don’t get military humor one does, however, and shows us a velcro patch that he wears on his rucksack it's one of those standard patches you spot on a pilot’s flight suit that has the name, rank, branch, and blood type his blood type seriously says reptilian it's obvious that they embrace and poke fun at the reputation this base has, in fact they thrive off of it
the day finally fucking arrives, time to attack this bitch wake up at 0400 and drive an hour to Creech dressed to kill decide to wear DCU "desert combat uniform" pants and a sand t shirt with my personally owned Blackhawk tactical vest to carry spare M4 mags sometimes the military issues some real shitty gear so our unit is somewhat lax and allows us to personally buy our own better equipment if it has command approved use and doesn't break SOPs also wear my empty gas mask pouch attached to my hip and use it to carry spare M82 .50 cal mags also wear a black turban for lulz that I bought off an ANA (Afghani Northern Alliance) dude downrange used to have a guile suite but it got lost on a deployment so that's a no go unfortunately arm up with an M4 with M68 red dot sight and attach a BFA "blank firing adapter" to the muzzle, and load six mags of .556 blanks also provided with my trusty Barret .50 M82 and five mags there is no BFA for the Barret that I'm familiar with so carry that with empty mags, guess I get to cheat with the weight load up in the vans with WHITEBOX team and drive another hour to Mercury get inprosscessed through security checkpoint and receive visitor badges for the test range drive another 2 hour on random roads passing more checkpoints /// REDACTED /// forced to surrender cell phones, personally owned electronic devices and CAC cards (military ID cards) again receive our escorted visitor passes for Groom Lake and now continue down some of the most forbidden roads in American history start unloading as close to our start point as the terrain allows and hump the rest of the distance on foot with our escorts suicide attack bro hangs back in the van with other escorts and is driven to his start point the terrain is favorable and allows us to set up out of sight hence why we chose the spot I break off and try to set up my nest at my chosen OP "observation point" as discreetly as possible not really stealthy cause I'm being followed by a guy wearing an orange reflective vest that says STAN EVAL and he's just casually walking he tells me to set up the Barret, but just simulate your shots by firing the M4 blanks now in a spot where I can observe base activity and provide cover fire for the breach, but I am also the most easy to spot sniper ever now wait for confirmation that our distraction on the other side has happened, taking a real long fucking time
my escort's radio chimes to life and starts talking "attention all WHITEBOX, we now have proper authentication via CASTLE ROCK for initiation of a detachment level exercise" voice on radio proceeds to spit out a long winded exercise safety briefing realize it's been about 40 minutes and we are just now fucking starting another 10 minutes and finally get word that suicide bro is approaching his target escorts all inform us that the security force is responding to reports of an explosion outside of the ECP later find out that suicide bro was stopped and challenged at gun point about 50 meters outside of ECP by a mounted patrol he then just fuck it and started sprinting towards the ECP until they opened fire with blanks and his escort set off the GBS he actually managed to take out the vehicle that stopped him and create several casualties (we gave him the heaviest explosive rocks loadout) overall our distraction was pretty fucking successful give it a another minute or two and finally start shooting and calling my shots to my escort/evaluator he's talking on his radio and relaying my simulated violence, "inform Merc-17 that they are dead from sniper fire" etc... I have predetermined targets to engage based off of what poses the biggest threat to the breach team I actually do some damage and get confirmation of casualties from my escort it's about a 600 meter run to the base perimeter in the open desert so it's on me to try and clear their path as much as I can the plan is to try to lure some security vehicles to our position then eliminate them with the Barret while they are en route the dead vehicles can then serve as points of cover for the breach team as they assault towards the base breach team was also aiming to see if they could snag any security radios from the dead patrols so we can monitor their comms didn't really work out that way however, in the end we simply didn't have all the info about the anticipated security response without giving away too many sensitive details, we all got ambushed by the security from unexpected locations forced to abandon my nest and the Barret to start moving towards another location to back up the breach team that was under fire trade some shots with security until my escort finally announces "ok dude, you're dead. go ahead and lay down" that's it, game over
play dead for about 20 minutes while security cleans up the area breach team gets rekt, we managed to get within 100 meters of the perimeter couple of security dudes approach me and perform a dead combatant body search on me it's a specific type of search designed to search a dead body while also checking for possible explosive booby traps pretend to be dead and let security dudes run my pockets finally one of the evaluators shouts "PauseEx" (pause exercise) we got fucking annihilated, no chance this attack was going to be successful our evaluators tell us that everyone did a great job, HOWEVER.... we are going to continue the exercise because they didn't get the chance to observe much of the internal security components we are going to resume the exercise assuming that we were actually able to get inside that target hangar this will give the evaluators the opportunity to observe the security's recap and recov procedures (re-capture and recovery) we all get magically resurrected from the dead I realize that I am actually going inside Groom Lake! Fucking Awesome...
spend about 15 minutes policing up the area for brass which means wandering around and picking up spent cartridges board vans and get driven around to ECP. realize that only half of the security force is playing in this exercise the rest are still armed with live weapons and are still performing regular protection duties forced to show our visitor passes, names and badge numbers are compared against a master list that the security has /// REDACTED /// /// REDACTED /// notice a homemade sign hanging on the wall at the security center it’s got a picture of an alien with a red X through it that says "no extraterrestrial entities or relics beyond this point" like I said earlier, everyone enjoys the reputation this base has drive to our target hangar, holy fuck! I am now inside Area 51 use of blanks not authorized indoors, everyone is told to clear out weapons rest of the exercise will use simulated firing, the equivalent of pointing your empty weapon at someone and yelling bang sadly not the first time I trained like this, military does it all the time it’s ridiculous and awkward every time, looks like a bunch of kids playing backyard soldiers with sticks security has already reset its posture, they know we are attacking but doesn't know the building we are hitting we all enter the hangar, get the impression that it doesn't actually get used IRL anymore reeks of mildew and no power inside, dust everywhere in the center there is a pickup truck covered with a tarp and roped off with red rope and stanchions, signs posted identifying it as a controlled area told that this is a simulated military asset and this is what we are sabotaging WHITEBOX evaluator pulls a box out of the bed of the truck remember when I said we will have to do a complex and time consuming task to simulate our act of sabotage? it’s a fucking Star Wars Lego kit! I shit you not! evaluators tell us we will need start building it and reach page 12 in the instructions without errors or mistakes kind of wish we went with our earlier plan and brought claymores cause I spotted some sweet chokepoints outside the building to set them up also wish we had the idea of bringing padlocks and chains so we could lock down the hangar and make life more difficult for the security force set up our spots to cover the doors, we are well versed with building clearing tactics so we know what spots to cover to make it hard
WHITEBOX evaluator authenticates over the radio with someone by passing letters and numbers back and forth, process known as sign/countersign voice on radio announces that the detachment level WHITEBOX exercise has resumed showtime! Two unit bros start opening the Lego kit and sorting parts me and the suicide bro weren't supposed to be in this hangar or even on the base to begin with so we don't have points to cover inside come up with idea and ask one of the escorts if we can go out the back on to the flightline plan to walk to two separate buildings in opposite directions and see if we can create distractions evaluators approve the plan, but tell us we can't approach or enter other buildings, nor approach any parked aircraft decide to leave firearms and my tac vest behind for clever reasons if we are unarmed the security will most likely apprehend us, and search us this is more time consuming than just shooting us and will keep them away from the hangar longer exit the back of the hangar on to the flightline and just start casually walking down the tarmac with my escort eventually hear the sound of police sirens in the distance getting louder, hear they come! get the urge to start sprinting but decide not to since it would most likely result in me being tackled on the pavement, fuck that later realize distant sirens are actually responding to hangar after reports of a silent alarm being received so much for the distraction plan
decide not to return to hangar since there is not much I can do unarmed, and continue walking down flightline all the parked aircraft I see are just normal military aircraft, although some do seem to have “enhancements” or cosmetic features that I haven’t seen before ask my escort where they keep all the flying saucers, he smirks and just replies "underground" wonder if there are actually any subterranean levels to this base, suppose a lot of these buildings could support that ask my escort if there are really underground levels, he facetiously says “who knows” white pickup truck with police lights approaching fast pretend not to notice and keep walking voice starts barking at me over a loudspeaker "stop right there! do not move! get your hands up! security mercs climbing out of vehicle with rifles drawn, don't see magazines in the riffles, they are part of the drill they actually try to challenge both of us, escort has to remind them that he is out of play security goons bark at me, "face away from me NOW! keep your hands up!" they are actually pretty intimidating, I comply proceed to have me lay on the ground face down with my arms and legs stretched out yell at me to put my hands in the small of my back, palms together, fingers up big black guy approaches me and actually puts his knee on my neck George Floyd style "don't fight me, don't resist me, or you are gonna get hurt" he says puts me in zip ties and picks me up, see other guards still have weapons drawn on me overall whole thing similar to a gangbanger getting rolled up by the cops black guy puts me in some weird and uncomfortable arm hold tells me to start walking while he steers my body with the arm hold and walks me off the flightline taken to a grassy area, get put back on the ground and searched and questioned /// REDACTED /// I try to bluff and say that the hangar will blow if anyone goes inside, see if that stalls them he tries to question me about it, but I can tell he’s not biting, I decide to tone it down and stay quiet cause the dude really looks like he’s going to fuck me up actually overhear his partner talking on the radio, he’s telling others to exercise caution and beware of possible explosive booby traps lights out, realize that someone put a bag over my head evaluator calls out "EndEX" (end exercise) all portions of the exercise are terminated, it's all over
black security guy cuts my zip ties, takes off the hood and sets me loose later find out that security retook the hangar with no problems my guys inside struggled with the Legos since it was so dark and hard to see instead of immediately going in, security tossed inert CS gas canisters inside none of us brought gas mask since it was something our insider failed to mention evaluator let us build legos for another 30 seconds then yelled “GAS, GAS, GAS” unit bros in the hangar were told to lay on the ground and pretend to be incapacitated security swarmed the place with gas mask and guns, kicked away weapons they got a similar treatment to what I received on the flightline and got hauled out of there we all regroup at the base's main visitor center for the AAR (after action review) overall security responded quite well, only some points were critiqued, nothing failing smoke cigarettes and crack jokes back and forth with the security dudes, finally get to see the human side of the guy who snagged me on the flightline tell him he’s one scary mofo, he smiles and we shake hands security dudes leave, head to base theater for full debrief WHITEBOX guys thank us for our participation, time to head home wait a sec, let’s see some fucking aliens WHITEBOX guy smirks and says he’ll give us the dollar tour another day drive back to Mercury knowing full well that we are not going to hear back from them, especially about a tour return radiation badges to the Mercury office told that if we never hear back from them that it’s a good sign told that if they do call us then our Tricare (military health coverage) will get put to good use whole experience was cool as fuck one of the evaluators hands out business cards for ///REDACTED/// and tells us to look them up when we separate from the military starting pay for the security force is pretty fucking dope and only certain military backgrounds are considered for it return to Indian Springs and hit up the casino for drinks with the original 5 WHITEBOX guys ask if any of the prior OPFOR units actually pulled it off and broke in told that a group of CCT guys from the 24th STS was the closest anyone’s ever gotten but even they still failed makes sense, I’ve heard that those dudes are legit operators tell war stories and get drunk actually receive a letter of appreciation from the Air Force Test Center Detachment 3 from Edwards Air Force Base, California about a month later it thanks me for my participation in an exercise but makes no mention of Groom Lake my participation in a vaguely worded “DOD exercise” actually gets mentioned as a bullet in my annual performance report mfw I attacked Area 51
tldr - me and my coworkers "broke" into Area 51 with automatic weapons so we could put together an X-wing starfighter out of Legos
Thanks for reading. I should mention that I have intentionally withheld a lot of details and even altered a few. I'm not trying to blow up anyone’s spot and compromise shit. Just wanted to share a true story about some cool shit I got to do in my youth. For example WHITEBOX is a completely fabricated name while the whole operation actually went under another random weird name. It still ranks as some of the most cloak and dagger shit I got to do in the military. I actually don’t really tell too many people because it is no one’s business and no one would believe me anyways. I finally figured that enough time has passed and like I said, I have specially tailored this story to avoid leaking any sensitive shit. Overall the base was actually kind of underwhelming. I didn’t really see any earth shattering secrets there. All of the alien and reptilian conspiracy theories were openly mocked and made fun of there. It’s really just a base that gets an extra layer of discreetness and physical security for more sensitive assets and projects to be kept there. The CIA, JSOC and other intel gangs from Washington even have offices out there because it’s just a quiet tucked away place to do business. I will say that their security is no joke and that they have some truly fascinating techniques to detect and deny intruders. Hope you enjoyed.

Best Run in terms of anything
Audrey Hepburn: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Charade, The Children's Hour, Paris When It Sizzles, My Fair Lady, Wait Until Dark, The Unforgiven, How to Steal a Million, and Two for the Road.
Natalie Wood: Splendor in the Grass, West Side Story, Gypsy, Love with the Proper Stranger, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, All the Fine Young Cannibals, Cash McCall, Penelope, This Property Is Condemned, Sex and the Single Girl, The Great Race, and Inside Daisy Clover.
Julie Andrews: Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, The Americanization of Emily, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Hawaii, Torn Curtain, Star!, and Think Twentieth.
Bette Davis: Pocketful of Miracles, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, The Nanny, Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte, Dead Ringer, The Empty Canvas, The Anniversary, and Where Love Has Gone.
Monica Vitti: L'Avventura, Follie d'estate, La Notte, Three Fables of Love, L'Eclisse, Sex Quartet, I Married You for Fun, The Girl with the Pistol, Kill Me Quick, I'm Cold, On My Way to the Crusades, I Met a Girl Who..., Help Me, My Love, The Scarlet Lady, Red Desert, Le bambole, Il disco volante, Modesty Blaise, High Infidelity, Nutty, Naughty Chateau, and Sweet and Sour.
Liv Ullmann: Persona, Kort är sommaren, Tonny, Smeltedigelen, En hyggelig fyr, Onkel Vanja, Måken, De kalte ham Skarven, Cocktailselskapet, Hour of the Wolf, An-Magritt, The Passion of Anna, and Shame.
Catherine Deneuve: The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Repulsion, Belle de Jour, Les Petits Chats, L'Homme à femmes, Les Portes claquent, Ça c'est la vie, And Satan Calls the Turns, Tales of Paris, Portuguese Vacation, Vice and Virtue, The Young Girls of Rochefort, Who Wants to Sleep?, Le Chant du monde, The World's Most Beautiful Swindlers, La costanza della ragione, Male Companion, Male Hunt, Manon 70, La Chamade, Benjamin, Mayerling, The April Fools, A Matter of Resistance, Mississippi Mermaid, Tout peut arriver, and Les Créatures.
Julie Christie: Darling, Doctor Zhivago, Fahrenheit 451, Petulia, Far from the Madding Crowd, Billy Liar, Crooks Anonymous, The Fast Lady, Young Cassidy, and In Search of Gregory.
Rita Moreno: West Side Story, Popi, This Rebel Breed, The Night of the Following Day, Marlowe, Summer and Smoke, and Cry of Battle.
Judy Garland: Judgment at Nuremberg, I Could Go On Singing, Pepe, A Child Is Waiting, and Gay Purr-ee.
Joan Crawford: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, Strait-Jacket, The Caretakers, The Karate Killers, Berserk!, and I Saw What You Did.
Nora Ricci: The Birds, the Bees and the Italians, A Very Private Affair, Giuseppe Verdi, The Shortest Day, La fiera della vanità, The Witches, The Damned, Metti, una sera a cena, and The Libertine.
Pamela Tiffin: Summer and Smoke, One, Two, Three, The Pleasure Seekers, For Those Who Think Young, Come Fly with Me, The Lively Set, and State Fair.
Claudia Cardinale: 8 1/2, The Leopard, Rocco and His Brothers, Girl with a Suitcase, Cartouche, The Pink Panther, Once Upon a Time in the West, The Hell with Heroes, Blindfold, The Professionals, Lost Command, Don't Make Waves, The Day of the Owl, Il bell'Antonio, Austerlitz, The Lovemakers, The Lions Are Loose, Auguste, Careless, La ragazza di Bube, Time of Indifference, Circus World, The Magnificent Cuckold, Sandra, The Conspirators, A Fine Pair, Diary of a Telephone Operator, and The Red Tent.
Anouk Aimée: 8 1/2, La Dolce Vita, Lola, Justine, A Man and a Woman, The Last Judgment, The Joker, The Shortest Day, White Voices, Justine, The Appointment, Model Shop, La fuga, Sodom and Gomorrah, One Night... A Train, and The Dreamer.
Sandra Milo: 8½, Juliet of the Spirits, La visita, Méfiez-vous, mesdames, Ghosts of Rome, Weekend, Italian Style, Premio Nobel, Trusting Is Good... Shooting Is Better, Beautiful Families, The Strange Night, Classe Tous Risques, Adua and Her Friends, and Vanina Vanini.
Coral Browne: The Killing of Sister George, Dr. Crippen, The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone, The Legend of Lylah Clare, Tamahine, The Night of the Generals, and Go to Blazes.
Rita Tushingham: Doctor Zhivago, Smashing Time, A Taste of Honey, The Leather Boys, The Knack ...and How to Get It, Girl with Green Eyes, A Place to Go, The Guru, The Trap, The Bed Sitting Room, and Diamonds for Breakfast.
Deborah Kerr: The Innocents, The Sundowners, The Grass Is Greener, The Night of the Iguana, Marriage on the Rocks, The Chalk Garden, The Naked Edge, Casino Royale, The Gypsy Moths, Eye of the Devil, The Arrangement, and Prudence and the Pill.
Ava Gardner: Mayerling, The Night of the Iguana, 55 Days at Peking, Seven Days in May, The Bible: In the Beginning..., and The Angel Wore Red.
Debbie Reynolds: How the West Was Won, Divorce American Style, The Singing Nun, The Unsinkable Molly Brown, The Rat Race, Pepe, The Pleasure of His Company, The Second Time Around, Debbie Reynolds and the Sound of Children, How Sweet It Is!, Mary, Mary, Goodbye Charlie, and My Six Loves.
Hermione Baddeley: Mary Poppins, Marriage on the Rocks, Harlow, The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin, The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Rag Doll, Midnight Lace, Information Received, Let's Get Married, The Happiest Millionaire, and Do Not Disturb.
Virna Lisi: How to Murder Your Wife, Not with My Wife, You Don't!, The Secret of Santa Vittoria, Un militare e mezzo, Sua Eccellenza si fermò a mangiare, 5 marines per 100 ragazze, Eva, The Shortest Day, Don't Tempt the Devil, Duel of the Titans, Le bambole, The Black Tulip, Coplan Takes Risks, The 25th Hour, A Maiden for a Prince, Assault on a Queen, Made in Italy, Casanova 70, The Possessed, Kiss the Other Sheik, The Girl Who Couldn't Say No,Arabella, The Girl and the General, If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium, The Christmas Tree, Anyone Can Play, and Better a Widow.
Liza Minnelli: The Odd Couple, The Sterile Cuckoo, and Charlie Bubbles.
Marilyn Monroe: Let's Make Love and The Misfits.
Shirley MacLaine: The Children's Hour, The Apartment, Two for the Seesaw, Irma la Douce, Sweet Charity, Ocean's 11, Can-Can, Gambit, The Bliss of Mrs. Blossom, John Goldfarb, Please Come Home!, What a Way to Go!, Woman Times Seven, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, My Geisha, All in a Night's Work, and Two Loves.
Suzy Kendall: 30 Is a Dangerous Age, Cynthia, To Sir, with Love, The Penthouse, Thunderball, The Liquidator, Circus of Fear, Up Jumped a Swagman, Up the Junction, The Sandwich Man, and Fräulein Doktor.
Angie Dickinson: Ocean's 11, The Sins of Rachel Cade, Captain Newman, M.D., Point Blank, The Killers, Jessica, The Art of Love, I'll Give My Life, The Bramble Bush, A Fever in the Blood, The Chase, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, Cast a Giant Shadow, Some Kind of a Nut, Sam Whiskey, The Last Challenge, Young Billy Young, and Rome Adventure.
Eva Marie Saint: Exodus, The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming, Grand Prix, The Sandpiper, All Fall Down, 36 Hours, and The Stalking Moon.
Anne Bancroft: The Miracle Worker, The Graduate, The Pumpkin Eater, The Slender Thread, and 7 Women.
Patricia Neal: Hud, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Subject Was Roses, In Harm's Way, and Psyche 59.
Sue Lyon: The Night of the Iguana, Lolita, 7 Women, Tony Rome, Arsenic and Old Lace, Four Rode Out, and The Flim-Flam Man.
Ann-Margret: The Pleasure Seekers, State Fair, Bye Bye Birdie, The Cincinnati Kid, Viva Las Vegas, Stagecoach, Rebus, The Prophet, Seven Men and One Brain, The Tiger and the Pussycat, Murderers' Row, The Swinger, Bus Riley's Back in Town, Made in Paris, Once a Thief, Pocketful of Miracles, and Kitten with a Whip.
Flora Robson: 55 Days at Peking, Murder at the Gallop, Cry in the Wind, 7 Women, The Shuttered Room, Eye of the Devil, Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines, Guns at Batasi, and Young Cassidy.
Elizabeth Taylor: The Sandpiper, Scent of Mystery, The V.I.P.s, Cleopatra, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, BUtterfield 8, Reflections in a Golden Eye, Boom!, Secret Ceremony, Anne of the Thousand Days, The Comedians, Doctor Faustus, and The Taming of the Shrew.
Lee Remick: Days of Wine and Roses, Wild River, The Detective, Sanctuary, Experiment in Terror, Hard Contract, No Way to Treat a Lady, The Hallelujah Trail, Baby the Rain Must Fall, The Running Man, and The Wheeler Dealers.
Angela Lansbury: The Manchurian Candidate, The Dark at the Top of the Stairs, A Breath of Scandal, Blue Hawaii, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, All Fall Down, Dear Heart, In the Cool of the Day, The World of Henry Orient, Harlow, The Greatest Story Ever Told, Mister Buddwing, and The Amorous Adventures of Moll Flanders.
Janet Leigh: Psycho, The Manchurian Candidate, Harper, Bye Bye Birdie, Pepe, Wives and Lovers, Kid Rodelo, Who Was That Lady?, Hello Down There, American Dream, Three on a Couch, and Grand Slam.
Vera Miles: Psycho, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Follow Me, Boys!, Sergeant Ryker, Mission Batangas, Kona Coast, The Green Berets, Hellfighters, One of Our Spies Is Missing, Gentle Giant, The Spirit Is Willing, Back Street, Five Branded Women, The Lawbreakers, It Takes All Kinds, Those Calloways, and A Tiger Walks.
Maria Grazia Buccella:I Married You for Fun, Giacomo Casanova: Childhood and Adolescence, Sissignore, It's Your Move, Where Are You Going All Naked?, Domani non siamo pià qui, Villa Rides, A Maiden for a Prince, After the Fox, Pleasant Nights, Dead Run, L'armata Brancaleone, The Dirty Game, Man from Cocody, La donna degli altri è sempre più bella, Siamo tutti pomicioni, Canzoni in bikini, Adultery Italian Style, Up and Down, Up and Down, Menage all'italiana, La strada dei giganti, Nerone '71, Il Boom, The Fall of Rome, Il Gaucho, The Night They Killed Rasputin, and Fountain of Trevi.
Bibi Andersson: Persona, The Passion of Anna, Bröllopsdagen, The Girls, Tænk på et tal, Le Viol, Blow Hot, Blow Cold, Pardon, Are You For or Against?,Pan, All These Women, Karneval, The Devil's Eye, The Pleasure Garden, Square of Violence, The Mistress, Ön, Duel at Diablo, My Sister, My Love, and About Love.
Ingrid Thulin: Hour of the Wolf, The Judge, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Sekstet, The Damned, O.K. Yevtushenko, The Rite, Domani non siamo più qui, Adélaïde, Calda e... infedele, Badarna, Games of Desire, Winter Light, Return from the Ashes, The Silence, Night Games, and Agostino.
Jane Fonda: In the Cool of the Day, The Chase, Tall Story, Period of Adjustment, The Chapman Report, Walk on the Wild Side, Barbarella, Hurry Sundown, Barefoot in the Park, Cat Ballou, Sunday in New York, Circle of Love, Joy House, They Shoot Horses, Don't They?, Spirits of the Dead, The Game Is Over, and Any Wednesday.
Katharine Hepburn: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Long Day's Journey into Night, The Madwoman of Chaillot, and The Lion in Winter.
Jeanne Moreau: Jules and Jim, La Notte, Seven Days... Seven Nights, Viva Maria!, Eva, Five Branded Women, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, Chimes at Midnight, A Woman Is a Woman, The Trial, Dialogue with the Carmelites, The Victors, The Fire Within, Bay of Angels, The Train, Banana Peel, The Oldest Profession, Le Corps de Diane, The Bride Wore Black, Great Catherine, The Sailor from Gibraltar, The Immortal Story, Mademoiselle, Diary of a Chambermaid, and Mata Hari, Agent H21.
Faye Dunaway: The Arrangement, Hurry Sundown, The Happening, Bonnie and Clyde, The Thomas Crown Affair, A Place for Lovers, and The Extraordinary Seaman.
Geneviève Page: Mayerling, Belle de Jour, El Cid, Grand Prix, Three Rooms in Manhattan, Song Without End, Corsaires et Flibustiers, Le Majordome, Tender Scoundrel, The Day and the Hour, Youngblood Hawke, The Reluctant Spy, Decline and Fall... of a Birdwatcher, and A Talent for Loving.
Brigitte Bardot: A Very Private Affair, Affaire d'une nuit, La Vérité, Testament of Orpheus, Viva Maria!, Une ravissante idiote, Shalako, Les Femmes, Spirits of the Dead, Masculin Féminin, Two Weeks in September, Dear Brigitte, Contempt, Love on a Pillow, Marie Soleil, Please, Not Now!, and Famous Love Affairs.
Jean Seberg: Breathless, Lilith, Paint Your Wagon, Moment to Moment, A Fine Madness, The World's Most Beautiful Swindlers, Diamonds Are Brittle, Backfire, The Girls, The Road to Corinth, Birds in Peru, Pendulum, Line of Demarcation, The Looters, Let No Man Write My Epitaph, Congo vivo, Time Out for Love, In the French Style, Five Day Lover, and Love Play.
Tippi Hedren: The Birds, Marnie, and A Countess from Hong Kong.
Sophia Loren: Two Women, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, Marriage Italian Style, Lady L, A Countess from Hong Kong, Judith, Arabesque, More Than a Miracle, Ghosts – Italian Style, The Fall of the Roman Empire, Operation Crossbow, El Cid, Five Miles to Midnight, Boccaccio '70, The Condemned of Altona, Madame, Heller in Pink Tights, It Started in Naples, A Breath of Scandal, The and Millionairess.
Maggie Smith: Go to Blazes, Young Cassidy, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, The V.I.P.s, Othello, The Pumpkin Eater, Hot Millions, Oh! What a Lovely War, and The Honey Pot.
Vanessa Redgrave: Oh! What a Lovely War, Morgan – A Suitable Case for Treatment, Camelot, Isadora, The Charge of the Light Brigade, A Man for All Seasons, Blowup, The Sea Gull, and A Quiet Place in the Country.
Doris Day: Do Not Disturb, Midnight Lace, Send Me No Flowers, Lover Come Back, That Touch of Mink, The Thrill of It All, The Glass Bottom Boat, The Ballad of Josie, With Six You Get Eggroll, Caprice, Where Were You When the Lights Went Out?, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, Move Over, Darling, and Billy Rose's Jumbo.
Mia Farrow: Secret Ceremony, Guns at Batasi, John and Mary, Rosemary's Baby, and A Dandy in Aspic.
Suzanne Pleshette: The Birds, Rome Adventure, 40 Pounds of Trouble, If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium, The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin, The Power, Target: Harry, Mister Buddwing, Youngblood Hawke, A Distant Trumpet, Fate Is the Hunter, Wall of Noise, The Ugly Dachshund, Blackbeard's Ghost, Nevada Smith, and A Rage to Live.
Shelley Winters: A Patch of Blue, Lolita, Alfie, Harper, The Greatest Story Ever Told, The Three Sisters, Let No Man Write My Epitaph, The Chapman Report, The Young Savages, Wives and Lovers, Time of Indifference, A House Is Not a Home, The Balcony, Arthur? Arthur!, Wild in the Streets, Enter Laughing, Buona Sera, Mrs. Campbell, The Mad Room, and The Scalphunters.
Anna Karina: A Woman Is a Woman, Le petit soldat, Bande à part, My Life to Live, Alphaville, Pierrot le Fou, Sweet and Sour, Lamiel, The Oldest Profession, Anna, Made in U.S.A, The Nun, Zärtliche Haie, Justine, Dämonische Leinwand, Before Winter Comes, The Stranger, Laughter in the Dark, Man on Horseback, The Magus, Circle of Love, Cléo from 5 to 7, Sun in Your Eyes, She'll Have to Go, Tonight or Never, All About Loving, Shéhérazade, The Camp Followers, Un mari à prix fixe, and The Thief of Tibidabo.
Anika Ekberg: La Dolce Vita, Le tre eccetera del colonnello, Anonima cocottes, Who Wants to Sleep?, Bianco, rosso, giallo, rosa, The Cobra, Pardon, Are You For or Against?, Crónica de un atraco, Un sudario a la medida, Death Knocks Twice, Malenka, Woman Times Seven, The Glass Sphinx, How I Learned to Love Women, Way...Way Out, The Alphabet Murders, Boccaccio '70, Call Me Bwana, 4 for Texas, The Mongols, Behind Closed Doors, The Dam on the Yellow River, and If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium.
Geraldine Page: The Three Sisters, You're a Big Boy Now, Sweet Bird of Youth, Trilogy, The Happiest Millionaire, Dear Heart, Summer and Smoke, Toys in the Attic, What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice?, and Monday's Child.
Joanne Woodward: A Fine Madness, Rachel, Rachel, Winning, Signpost to Murder, The Fugitive Kind, Paris Blues, From the Terrace, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, The Stripper, and A New Kind of Love.
Mariko Okada: Eros + Massacre, A Story Written on Water, Illusion of Blood, Woman of the Lake, An Autumn Afternoon, The Scent of Incense, Akitsu Springs, and Late Autumn.
Barbra Streisand: Hello, Dolly! and Funny Girl.

As I mentioned before, in Vegas you see slots already in the airport. While we were waiting for our luggage, people already sat at the gambling machines. I, myself, wanted to try slots in a better atmosphere than an LED-lit airport. Anyways, it seemed funny to play games on a big touch screen and I made sure that Vegas is a gambling paradise. We, though, put only so much money in the slots to get the free drinks.
After a few hours, I was already walking through the Vegas strip. It was interesting to observe the gigantic hotels, countless lights from slots, cozy Americans and the bewitched tourists that all were just thinking of how to faster spend all of their saved up money in the slots.
It was surprising just how many people were heading every night exactly to Caesar’s Palace. Well, it wasn’t a surprise, considering that this hotel was enormous, the casino space was even more enormous, but even all of that was topped by the shopping mall, which, of course, was also full of slots. There were 16 restaurants in the same hotel space. And have I mentioned that the second-largest nightclub in the world Omnia nightclub Las Vegas, was also located here? While I and Dāvis were walking around the hotel we got lost a few times and it was very complicated to talk of a place to meet.
The New Year’s party for us continued for two days and two nights. We met the most real American party groups as well as girls with whom we spent together nights. Unfortunately, the fast pace of Vegas meant that all of those people already packed their bags and left by 2 January. But my friend and I wanted to relax a little bit after all of the partying.
In the following days, we went to the Grand Canyon with a helicopter. We ordered a helicopter tour, which started in Vegas, flew to the Grand Canyon and flew back to Vegas. This tour made us feel a bit like celebrities, considering that a limo drives you from hotel to the helicopter and then you take off and fly over the whole Las Vegas. The helicopter landed next to the Grand Canyon. We also got to enjoy a glass of champagne and some snacks, which was offered by the tour. The canyon has been created by washing the Colorado River through granite rocks for thousands of years, leaving a unique and glorious memory of the wonders nature can bring. While flying over the I couldn’t take my eyes off of this amazing beauty. By the way, the Grand Canyon is almost the size of Latvia. Truly worth seeing, if you happen to be in Vegas and want to experience something exclusive with a dose of adrenaline.
To balance out cultural wonders with scandalous events, on this night we chose to enjoy Las Vegas Titty Time and went to strip club. The easiest way to get there was to go to the Vegas Strip and check out the advertised offers. It wasn’t long before we got offered a good price, as well as a limo that will take us there. Then we got offered an even better price, then a cocktail, then - a private lap dance and in the end, we got offered a meal. At that moment we couldn’t resist their offer anymore and we went to a strip club. We didn’t even know where they were taking us, but we wanted an adventure and we wound up in Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club. The place was just like my expectations of what an American strip club should look like - big neon signs, angry-looking bouncers, a bit dirty atmosphere and a lot of foreign girls. While there we exchanged our money into one-dollar bills and went straight to the dance hall. I haven’t ever seen someone work that hard to earn one dollar. The view was quite enjoyable, to be honest, I had imagined it being a bit different, but striptease is like a delicate choreographic dance - there was nothing vulgar about it, only erotica. Definitely, only a confident woman can show herself off like that. Their feminine bodies helped as well. Their breasts were rarely real, though, mostly it was just some surgeon’s masterpiece. As a big female lover, I can say, that what allures me more is the naturality.
We got offered lap dances and when we heard the price, we were surprised. Only twenty dollars. I would even say that that is unforgivably cheap for us just to try it once. We started buying dances for each other, till cash in the wallet was nearly gone. We thought of a challenge to invite all of the girls in the club for the lap dance to get the “full experience”. Personally, my favorite was the only girl who had real breasts. Some of the girls wanted us to take the “private room” for 120 dollars. Some even offered the special “private room” for 500 dollars, but as they implied, it was more than just a dance. I politely declined as I didn’t think I had to pay someone for that.
In the following days, we continued to do stuff that is in any Vegas tourist to-do-list. For example, we went to Gordon Ramsey’s famous Hell’s Kitchen restaurant. Dāvis, my companion on this trip, as well as partly its initiator had reserved us a table, but we still had to wait in line. At the start, we just chatted between each other, but it seemed like this hour will be spent in boredom, till girls, who were standing in front of us, turned around. One girl, who later turned out to be a literature teacher for middle schoolers, said that our language seemed interesting to her and asked where are we from. At that moment, the girls' openness didn’t surprise me, all the people in America were unusually nice and ready to start a conversation with strangers. Of course, girls were also intrigued by our unusual language and exotic European charm. Dāvis and I were as well intrigued by the girls’ exotic and alluring American charm. Long story short, two tables for two turned into one table for four. After the restaurant we persuaded the girls to spend the following evening together, going through the smaller Vegas streets and bars.
One more adventure was going to Death Valley. We rented a yellow Ford Mustang convertible, to really enjoy this trip. It’s really unbelievably hot there, but the locals say that during nighttime you might freeze. Death Valley is something everyone should see in their lifetime. The Vegas hotels disappeared pretty fast and all we saw was large, vast desert and majestic mountains. I would call it a surreal view, honestly pretty unbelievable that there is something like that on the Earth. While walking through the vast salt lakes you get the feeling like you’re in a “Star Wars” movie on some distant planet. Just standing in the middle of the field gives an illusion that you are somewhere far from civilization because wherever you look, there is no sign of life.
When back in the city we again focused on something more worldly, such as going to clubs. Interesting, that even on 7th January, which was just a Tuesday, Omnia nightclub was filled with people. I’m talking thousands. Well, the party wasn’t anything special, compared to the New Year’s party. Maybe I just wasn’t in a party mood. But then I saw a beautiful blonde standing next to the bar and, quite naturally, went to her and we started chatting. We didn’t talk for long, because I took her hand and we went to the middle of the dance floor. We danced all night till the club was about to close. The girl had a very short, tight dress and she didn’t have any panties on. From time to time I checked her dress, which was constantly sliding up, so the whole club wouldn’t see her nakedness. The moment when the music stopped, we were holding each other and making out. After getting back into reality, I realized that I have no plan on what to do with this beautiful girl further. We went to a hotel pool. We started talking about life in the USA and in Latvia and how they were similar but also so different. I didn’t want the romantic evening to end, so I thought of a plan. In American movies, couples always go skinny dipping. I persuaded the girl to jump in the water with me, naked. I hadn’t thought of water being so cold during the night and we froze in a moment. Good, that I could save the situation by offering a warm shower in my hotel room. She agreed. We went to shower together and warmed up so much that we didn’t even get to the bed. The next morning the girl quickly took her things and disappeared. When I checked her Instagram account I understood why - she had pictures with her husband (or boyfriend) and children. Now I have experienced the saying that goes - What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Ok It's Time for my . . . Annual Pre-Burning Man Rant and Predictions!!!
After 22+ years of attendance, I have watched this festival go from what was described by Wired Magazine in 1997 as, "what the internet would be like if it was happening in reality" to 2020 where, "What? In reality, this festival is happening on the internet" ?!? What a serious head fuck . . .
So strap in or strap on and get ready for disappointment . . . like virtually everything in this virtual world right now.
Here goes this year's Virtual Rant!
PREDICTIONS
The Virtual Burn is going the be everything you think it could be . . . an underwhelming and depressing reminder that you are not going the real Burning Man this year.
While it is still better than nothing, nothing is an extremely low bar. Get ready for a clusterfuck of 8 separately-produced interpretive video game dreamscapes, made by skilled teams of programmers eager to prove that their world-building technology will be able to make future financial investors a shitload of money.
Burning Man 2021 is a 50/50 chance at best. 2022 is not looking that great either. Between The Org burning cash on side projects, the FEDs wanting to crack down hard and the Bureau of Land Management clearly pretty fucking stoked that they did not have to deal with the whole shitshow this year, it's going to be an uphill battle for the festival to return.
Huge changes will need to be made.
Those few gluttons for punishment who do decide to go to the playa this week will be treated to Burning Man without the Burning Man Experience.
It will take all the hard work, organization and preparation for survival in the middle of a harsh desert environment for a week of Burning Man . . . just without the Burning Man.
If there is one silver lining of the event not happening this year, it's the fact that I don't have to pack up my dust covered Burning Man bullshit from last year, drive 19 hours, then have to smuggle drugs inside my ass to make it past the BLM rangers just go camping in one of the most fucking miserable and inhospitable places on earth.
Without Shirtcockers, Megaphones and Massive Thumping Soundsystems, it's just a bogus camping trip in bad weather with a shitload of cops.
This year we will NOT be seeing the usual post-Burn MASSSIVE FLOOD of social media posts from Burners who lost their nice $60 water bottle/container somewhere on the playa, often accompanied by a story of why this particular water container was of importance because it has a strap on it, followed by a brief description of unique camps stickers on it and a photo of said missing water bottle/container. In fact, while we are starting to think about cutting costs -- How about lost and found stops giving a fuck about your overpriced water bottle. You lost it, Becky . . . let it go. You spent 20 times More Money on Cocaine for the week than the price of your fucking stoopid-Smart-Bottle-container.
THE VIRTUAL BURN
This year’s Virtual Burn brings about more questions than it does answers.
How will Shirtcockers express their hatred of pants without a Burning Man? In a virtual world, they become no different than unsolicited dick pics.
How will Artcar Owners be able to swing their metaphorical dicks around without their Artcars booming Deep House music to show the world their girth. Sure, you can build one in the Minecraft world for this years Burn . . .But lets face it: No one is gonna be like "Who did that 3D CAD drawing, I totally wanna fuck them!"
What will all the Assholes with Megaphones do without Burners to heckle?
Without handheld amplified audio devices and wide-open spaces, they become no different than Internet Trolls.
How will Hippies on a Vision Quest be able find their spirit animal online? Without a guided shamanic ritual and Temple to burn, they become no different than someone playing Animal Crossing.
If there is no moop or trash to clean up in a virtual Burning Man how can Moop-shamers be able to prove to campmates and others that they are better at "doing Burning Man " than everyone else? In a virtual world they become no different than a Sarah McLaughlin Green Peace commercial.
How will Dooshbonnets and Dooshbags be able to gain followers on Instagram without the giant Robot Heart to climb?
How can they show the world that they not only have braved the pool of Piranhas chomping for position for line, negotiated past the all-seeing and all-knowing doorgirl with a clipboard, proving that they have climbed both the social and physical ladder to reach the top of the Robot Heart, so that they may look down upon the lowly dancefloor with both spite and pity for the unwashed masses who where not able achieve such greatness.
Without this accomplishment, they become no different than average Twitter users vying for Celebrity attention.
How will Burning Man DJs be able to disappoint us with poorly executed timing and bullshit Michael Jackson remixes? Without huge Soundsystems to bang out the worst in modern electronic music, DJs just become . . . The SAME TERRIBLE DJs just now on Twitch! #playatech #Djstreaming #Djsofburningman
Although each Virtual World must have been an amazing feat of programming in its scope and size, it kinda feels like a huge project that was done in a short amount of time. None of the Eight Worlds, in any way, reflect the typical Burning Man experience.
However, there are a few non-official super realistic Burning Man simulators out there.
By far the most realistic experience has to be the "Getting Out More This Year" Simulator.
The player is welcomed to a rich and tangible 3D World of Chris's DopeAss 70s RV, which is camped way out on 4:30 and H, where your avatar can spend all day and all night doing fun things like Ketamine, or other colorful interactive game play such as snorting Ketamine, and even interact with the virtual Chris’s chat box and watch his avatar do Ketamine.
Other game play options include doing Ketamine, talking about doing Ketamine and also doing Ketamine.
The more days and nights spent doing Ketamine, the higher the score! If you want to experience what a typical Burner really does the whole week, than this one is for you!!
Then we have: "Let's Go Party" . . . the online multi-player game where the objective is to get your group of more than 6 Burners to try and leave camp, and all go out to party together.
I did not have much fun playing. I was never able to leave the front of camp. 14 hours of game play later, Brenda still needs to go back for chapstick and Ricky can’t find his bag of blow. Then once Brenda arrives ready, Kaleporia is cold and needs a scarf. Darkwad David is going back to get some blinky lights for the 3rd time. Now Timmy can't find his cigarettes . . . Fuck.
“ManBun Boyfriend”. In this first person POV game, you (the ManBun) has little to no control within the game, with only a single "Ok, Sure" button to navigate within the world. The game play opens as the player is dragged out of bed at 6 AM by the onscreen girlfriend who takes you (the ManBun) on an treacherous journey of sunrise yoga classes, self help lectures, think and grow rich seminars, yoga, positive affirmation workshops, mindful guided mediations, yoga, healing arts ceremonies, wellness and well-being talks, yoga, vegan lifestyle in the new age conferences, yoga, mindful-and-wellness-group-chat and also yoga.
Extra points if you can score a selfie in front of the Giant BELIEVE letters!!
After 8 grueling hours of game play, it simply flashes a screen where girlfriend says "I'm Tired", and the “ManBun Boyfriend” simulator then restarts game play to opening sequence.
“DJs Girlfriend”. This simulation offers a similar experience to “ManBun Boyfriend”. However, in this first person POV game, you (the DJs Girlfriend) is invited to Follow "Dj GlockTrigger" on a dubstep-and-monster-energy-drink-filled adventure as you (the DJs Girlfriend) is rushed from empty dancefloor to empty dancefloor, while picking up extra points if you can find him a "line of blow". After 12 hours of game play the screen flashes "Hey babe I'm gonna go drink with the boyies" and game play is reset.
THE RANT
I am not that great at finance. Obviously. I’ve been to Burning Man 22 times. That should tell you enough about my poor financial / life choices.
But even this burnout Burner can do the math and see that the Burning Man Org is in financial trouble.
Burning Man may need to sell out to save itself. It would not be the first time..
Burning Man "sold out" to the PsyTrance community in 1997. To help ticket sales, the Bay Area was flooded with seriously lame underproduced Rave flyers. Or maybe Dr. Dre can toss in a few million to keep The Org afloat once again.
Or hey why don't we start tickling Elon Musk's balls again, and see if we can start choking on his shaft in return for some sweet corporate demon semen sponsorship.
The Org has already gone pinky finger deep with him. Like when Tesla brought out a full-on Electric Car Expo. That's right, in 2007, at Burning Man, right at fucking Esplanade & 9:00, they had what can only be described as an “anonymous car dealership” from “the green future”, complete with lengthy-worded displays filled with lofty promises of clean energy, infused with subtle corporate propaganda.
In the center of the exhibit sat a life-size solid black plastic model Tesla car.
As well as someone on guard 24/7 to make sure no one tagged or fucked with the stoopid thing. I personally got chased out for drawing a dick in the DUST on the window! All I know is they should have burnt it down or blew it up by the end of the week, but that lame ass mother fucker was still there on Sunday when I journeyed back to draw a dick on it again -- this time with a PAINT PEN. After executing a perfect fat-sacked-choad-headed-donger on the hood, I was once again chased out by rangers, this time with pitchforks screaming bloody murder for my head!!
Fuck you, Ranger Doug! You will never be able to prove that was Me!!!
So Look, it's not the first time The Org spread its asscheeks for a little bit of corporate dick on the side. They also bent over back in 2013 and let Mark Fucking Zuckerberg bring a Giant Golden 'LIKE' sculpture out there. I just hope they did the right thing by the end of week and it was killed with fire.
SO we know The Org is corporateBiCurious. Time to snuggle up, get out of the corporate cocksucking closet and cash in on the fact that this place sold out a long time ago.
Start flirting with attractive corporate entities like Mark Z, the Google Boys, Elon, Tommy Boy from Myspace, or maybe even P-Diddy to toss in some cash to get this fucking party started again!
Yo, Elon! How can we have Burning Man on Mars in 2050 as planned, if we can’t keep it going on Earth for the next 30 years?
At this point, The Org can spread their legs in the backseat of that Tesla and change next years theme to Space-X. I could give a FUCK!!!!! As long as we can keep Old Naked Dudes On Bikes rolling free.
Let some of these cocksucking limpdick corporations like Doritos -- who have already profited from using our Artcars and culture in a their fabricated commercials -- actually fucking pay us money and we will let them shoot a real commercial out there. Have fun pixelating the nipples out of the background actors. I COULD GIVE A FUCK as long as Shirtcockers have a natural habitat to dongslap and roam free. Let Brazzers.com build the Temple! I sincerely really don't care what they do . . . as long as Assholes with Megaphones have wide open spaces to heckle Burners in the Black Rock Desert like GOD intended.
BACK TO BASICS : THE FESTIVAL WILL NEED TO RESEST
Maybe The Org will stop fisting themselves in the burnhole with all the Cultural-Direction-Bullshit and get down to brass tax here.
They have spent years trying to market the festival as a family-friendly-non-offensive-all-inclusive-experience for the suburban upperclass while still catering to the super elite.
We need The Org to provide the DPW and Tickets . . .
Not for Cultural Direction, or Large Scale Art Funding Circle Jerks, Abstract Charity Causes, International Involvement, or any of the Meaningless Feel-Good Propaganda tools they use to control the image of the festival!
The number one focus from here on out needs to be the festival itself taking place once again in Black Rock City!
This defacto-defunding of The Org is a blessing. Look, when it comes down to it, it's not about the lame fucking themes each year. It's about the Burners who come and contribute to the festival that makes it special.
It’s not about overpriced art grants, or Rich-Dick Theme Camp placement priorities. It about the shitty unofficial un-themed camp at 7:00 and J blaring Discotrance music on a distorted soundsystem while giving away room temperature margaritas!
I could give a fuck about all of the elaborate expensive blinking bullshit! Cuts cost! Make the Burning Man effigy from toothpicks for all I give a fuck. None of that shit really matters. The spirit of Burning Man is in the person giving away ice cream from a cooler out in deep playa on a hot afternoon.
The soul of the festival is in Old Naked Dudes on a Bikes rolling free across the desert!
The heart of the festival is the Nightmare Hippy Chick on Acid rolling around in the dust, screaming about her spirit vegetable.
Believe me if The Org had its way, Burning Man would be nothing but Transformational Mediation Seminars, Yoga Classes, Ultra Overpriced Sculptures, and TED talks about how to get rich quick selling a new type of investment portfolio.
I am perfectly happy with the crappy bars and half-assed theme camps that are there just to have a good time. We don't need The Org's unique brand of new age capital-elitism bullshit.
They have clearly dropped the ball on the Cultural Direction for years, and the less they steer the ship, the better, cuz we have already washed up on the rocks.
BULLSHIT CLICKBAIT
“Top 10 Burning Man Pictures You Must See To Believe!”
And once clicked, sure enough it’s nothing but a bunch of super basic-ass photos of some super-hot-Coachella-swinger-couple at sunset in front of the most gentrified “OMG I need to get a selfie in front that to show my followers on Instagram” artwork on the playa.
You already know exactly where these fucksticks took the stoopid photo is front of, OF fucking course it's in front of the BELIEVE letters. It’s Basically the "live, laugh, love" of playa art.
Really, I won't believe this ?!
What I won't believe is that their relationship is going to last beyond next week . . . cuz there’s a 90% chance they are gonna join the wrong gangbang at the Orgy Dome and suddenly someone is not happy about the amount of buttfucking the other one received.
Thanks Business Insider Magazine for exposing the public to the wild and crazy world that is Burning Man. Now every fucking Chad and Becky from Wall Street is trying to come here to get laid. "Bro if I was there I would bang so many Hot Chicks on top of those letters" . . . "OMG I LOVE those Letters!! We are SOOO going to Burning Man to meet our future husbands <3."
How about 10 REAL photos you won’t believe?
Too bad the cameras weren’t there to snap a picture of the guy who took a shower with a fat chick and midget porn star!
It’s a shame no one from the Daily Mail UK was there to catch video of the guy who was tripping his nuts off and could not figure out how to unlock the door of the porta-potty -- escaping only by busting through the plastic roof and climbing out the top several hours later.
Or how about that chick at the meditation camp that was able to summon a higher power of consciousness and transcended the spacetime continuum for a short/infinite amount of time!
Where the fuck was BoredPanda.com to catch a photo of the person who was hit with a rubber dildo when it was carelessly thrown from the top of the Space Pirate ship into the Mayan Warrior crowd.
Now That’s some real stuff that happens out there that I would be happy to clickbait on!
THERE WILL BE SOME CHANGES MADE
The Large Scale Art:
Instead of funding massive installations that end up being resold to casinos on the Las Vegas strip, why not treat them like large Rich-Dick Theme Camps -- give the Installation Artists 200 DGS Tickets, and in return, these assholes will be happy to spend shitloads of money on blinky light towers or whatever, just so they can lock in those sweet sweet reserved tickets for themselves and their friends.
The Tone:
The Utopian Blinkylight Dreamscape has been cool for the past 16 years . . . Buuuut . . . it has gradually fallen out of touch with the world around us.
For far too long, The Org has ignored camps or underfunded art that could be perceived as dark or controversial in any way, shape or form.
Yet again, another example of their Cultural Direction Tactics to market Burning Man as a blinky-light-mickey-mouse-Epcot-Center for wealthy-business-insiders-and-celebrities featuring a safespace-family-oriented-wholesome-body-wellness-green-living-environment for social-media-influencer-photo-shoots.
Burning Man has NEVER been a Safe place!
In 1998, I witnessed a beheading by guillotine at the Opera Performance that was so realistic I spent the next 5 hours (still frying balls on acid!) convinced that Billy Graham was right about this place being a Satanic death cult that would bring about the end of the world.
IT WAS DISTURBING!
If the Barbie Death Camp incident at last years’ Burn taught us anything, it is that there clearly need to be risky and controversial works of art at the festival.
We can't be having pussy-footed Australians throwing temper tantrums like little punk bitches CUZ they don't like the way someone put Barbie Dolls inside an oven!
Why did that do-good-koala-humping-limpdick-ASS-licker think it was OK? Well . . .The Org has shoved the narrative that Burning Man is strictly "good vibes only" down our fucking throats so deep that we finally gagged from it.
Why the fuck was that guy even there? Well, he clicked on the Business Insiders’ “Top Ten Burning Man Photos You Must See To BELIEVE” and thought it was gonna be nothing but butterfly sculptures and Instagram Models in front of giant letters.
No Kids:
Yep. Sorry Minecraft Burners, but you are gonna have to wait until you are 21 to come to this party!
Renegotiating the insurance policy as an over-21 festival will save The Org millions and millions of dollars.
Out of 80,000 people, less than .05% are under 21 . . .yet we have to check IDs at every fucking bar !?
Every year the gate gets closed down and no one can filter in or out because someone asshole can't find their kid. This should be a HUGE red flag !
Law Enforcement uses the fact that minors are allowed at the event as justification to engage in predatory conduct such as undercover stings, camp raids and random tickets for unsuspecting bartenders who forget to check IDs.
Also I am not comfortable with the legal grey area the Shirtcocking and Titbouncing in the presence of minors creates.
And if it ever comes down to nudity versus allowing kids, I am sorry but we can't sacrifice the heart of this festival on account of the fact that you don't want to get a fucking babysitter for the week.
Your kids could give a flying-donald-duck-fuck about Burning Man! You and I both know goddamn well that given the opportunity they would rather play video games for the week at grandma's house then have to listen to Mom and Dad fight at Burning Man all week about who got buttfucked by whom at the Orgy Dome. . .
LEAVE THEM AT HOME!!!!!!
So the rest of us can be free to fuck, drink, smoke and wave our goddamn dicks and clits around whereever we see fit!!!
The Temple:
In the early days of the David Best Temples, they were constructed from the leftover hollows of wooden dinosaur jigsaw puzzle pieces.
It was low cost, recycled and pretty fucking cool!
Last year’s Temple was overdesigned, structurally unsound, and made from rare rustic-oak hardwood and redwood trees imported from China.
Let’s cut costs and just do what those guys from Belgium did in 2005. It's a Very Simple Plan. We get a shitload of old 2x4 boards and fucking Wing It! The Belgium Waffle House would have made a perfectly good Temple.
Garbage Dumpsters:
Yep, that's right. In the future we will have dumpsters at Burning Man! All the Survivalist and Moop-shaming Burners say it will destroy the festival. Guess what, Burn Nut? It's already common practice for larger theme camps to rent dumpsters that are emptied at the end of the week!! It's been going on for YEARS! So what?
Theme Camps will now have to pay a dumpster fee and there will be strict rules around any public dumpsters. Believe me The Org will provide the minimum amount possible to accommodate the BLM. It won't be nearly enough dumpsters for everyone to just toss all their trash, recycling and extra bikes into.
Don't worry, Radical Self-Reliant Survivalist Burnertypes, other people will still have to suffer packing up and dealing with their own trash on the ride home. Moop-shamers rejoice! You will definitely still be able to shame people for mooping and not cleaning up, if not even more so now. I don't see why we can't be Radically Self-Reliant by having dumpsters on site. We will still Leave No Trace, while leaving one less thing for surrounding communities to bitch about.
Build the Wall !!!
Ya fuck it! Build the Wall. So what? Honestly, it will be more aesthetically pleasing than that fucking orange fence. And if that is what the Feds want, that's cool with me -- as long as The Org gets to choose who does Security!
Thank fucking god we are not doing Burning Man this year.
With the world on fire all around us, it seems a bit tone-def to hold a giant rave utopia party!
I, for one, will be enjoying the week indoors under air-conditioning and rolling around in the heaps of cash I am saving by not going. I’m not attending a single workshop to expand my consciousness, not giving a single gift to anyone, and not being radical or self-reliant in any way.
Fuck your Virtual Burn.
I am Zapper Jones. I will see you in the Dust again . . . Sometime Somewhere in the Future!

After I tried to stop this series and start a new series (which failed), I am back in the driver's seat for King's Survivor's final phase, since it would probably have lasted longer if Adobe didn't cancel Flash (thanks for rushing my series, mate!). This season, I tried to do what u/swoldow did before and make a season called Saints Vs Sinners, where 10 people who embody the term "Saint" will face off against the people who embody the term "Sinner", but unfortunately, it seemed like a lot of the people who signed up misunderstood the definition of saints and sinners. For the love of god, someone who is slightly villainous is not a "sinner", and average people are not "saints". Oh well. I guess it's the best I'm gonna get. Here is the cast:
Kahramanca (Saints) Tribe:
Ardet Prifti, 31, Rhythm Guitarist, u/Twig7665
Ardet lived a difficult life. Born in Albania with a family that was associated with the mafia meant that Ardet was never safe, and one day, he came back home to find his whole family had been murdered by the Albanian mafia. He spent years on the street, struggling to survive, before he discovered his musical talent. He played a guitar (which he had to steal), which enabled him to earn money. After a few years of doing that, he moved to the United States, where he did his best to get into the largest music college in that country, and actually succeeded. He met some people that became his bandmates, and soon they were pretty popular in the underground scene. When their fame exploded, Ardet's bandmates grew either egotistical or paranoid, but Ardet saw fame as a way to spread awareness for mental illness. He has now become a strong supporter of mental health charities around the country, and he signed up for Survivor to raise money for one of the charities he supports.
Ava Chrisly, 23, Kindergarten Teacher, u/Gemini_B
Ava was born deaf. After her father died when she was 3, her birthmother struggled to care for her and her 3 siblings. Ava was especially tough since she needed special treatment and one night her birthmother left her on the doorstep of a rich widow with a note explaining how Ava got there. The Widow, not wanting to deal with a deaf child, left her outside where she spent a cold night alone and scared. She came across Marissa, a young girl who ran away from home. Marissa took pity on her and the two banded together.
They spent years together on the street with Ava learning to read lips and Marissa learning sign language. Marissa quickly saw that Ava had a gift with children and encouraged her to find a job with kids. Ava didn’t want Marissa to leave, but then Marissa surprised her by revealing she had a scholarship to a teachers college. Ava went off to the collage and became a kindergarten teacher, but when she returned she learned that Ava had gone to jail for stealing from a rich old woman and using the money to bribe a college administrator. Ava promised she’d help bail Marissa out, and learned about survivor. She’s hoping she can win the million to help free Marissa and get their lives on track.
Chelsea Rutherford, 22, Lifeguard, u/IAmWolfNinja
Chelsea was the heiress to the throne of a foreign country with a corrupt government. The wealth that came with such a status meant nothing to her, since she was utterly disgusted with the actions of her family. Knowing her resentment for their governmental policies, Chelsea's family gradually became verbally abusive towards her. Unable to take any more, she escaped as a teen to pursue her own path. When she arrived in America, Chelsea wanted to do everything she could to erase her dark past and the actions of her family, so she got a job as a lifeguard, where she has saved countless lives. She's occasionally recognized as an heiress, but when it's brought up, she tends to have nervous breakdowns.
Chester "Cap'n" Richardson, 67, Retired Naval Officer, u/swoldow
Some may see him as just the average old man, but Cap’n has seen and done things most people couldn't fathom. Cap’n joined the navy at a ripe young age about 5 years before the Cold War began, and learned everything from afar, slowly working up the ranks. When things got bad in Vietnam, he was given the chance to take charge of a ship during the war, and he immediately said yes. He ran the ship strictly, but he got both respect from everyone, as well as being genuinely liked as a person by his crew. He led them to many naval victories but unfortunately that didn't last, when his ship was shot with a torpedo, which blew the whole thing up and killed everyone on it, except for Cap’n. With the emotional baggage of watching people he has gotten to know kick the bucket, he immediately resigned from the navy after. As a result of the shipwreck, his mindset has changed, as he’s now super overprotective of his family, and still can't let the explosion go after years and years of retirement. He hopes Survivor can help him learn more about himself, and be the thing he needs to live the rest of his life in peace.
Cornelius Von Helton, 52, CEO, u/Gemini_B
Cornelius was raised by a family that had fallen from riches and was in tough times. He never expected to get to go to university but got lucky by getting a scholarship for his creative greeting cards. While at university, he enrolled in a business course and after collage started a greeting card business with some friends. All of his friends quickly gave up on the business, but Cornelius stuck through it. When he made a greeting card that was delivered to Eddie Murphy, the comedian was impressed and hired him to do his greeting cards to his friends, family, and invitations to parties. Quickly other celebrities started to hire his business and many fans wanted to get into the trend. His business rapidly expanded and he soon found himself with a company that covered parties, greeting cards, published books and even dabbled in a touch of Realestate. While in his thirties though, Cornelius was mugged while on a walk in the park and got stabbed. He was quickly rushed to the hospital and while there, he was nursed back to health by his soon to be wife. He claims that she saved his life and proceeded to date her after leaving the hospital. She was reluctant at first, but he quickly charmed her and the two have been married for 15 years now. He has two children, a son aged 10 and a daughter aged 8. He's continued to run his business, but leaves most of the work to his higher-ups as he wants to be able to spend as much time with his family and employees as possible. He views his employees as his family and does his best to remember all their names and make the workspace as nice for them as possible. He's come to survivor because his wife loves the show and wanted to compete, but due to growing health issues can't. She's trained him to win, and he wants to do this and win for her.
Dana Vasquez, 43, Stay At Home Mom, (filler character)
Greg Zimmer, 40, High School Teacher, u/AngolanDesert
Greg is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. He is very trusting and kind and will do anything for the people he loves. Since he grew up in Texas, hard work has always been his priority. He knows that if he wants to win this game, he has to work hard at everything he does. Greg decided to be a high school teacher so he could teach his students the importance of hard work. He has been a fan of survivor for a while, so when he saw that applications for survivor were going out, he knew he had to join in. Hopefully, he won’t disappoint his students.
Gwendolyn "Gwen" Wallerby, 52, Baker, u/ghetra
Gwen works at a bakery where she gets to do what she loves every day: make many different kinds of pies. She is a very warm, loving person and has a reputation for helping out whoever needs it, usually by baking for them. Baking takes a lot of patience and strength, and she is stronger than she looks. She naturally has a very loud voice that sometimes irks people, but once they get to know her it quickly becomes endearing. Now that her children are out of the house, she has started reading much more and taking classes on different subjects that interest her. The world is her oyster.
Kirk Smolarek, 62, History Teacher, u/Twig7665
Kirk never had a normal childhood. His mom walked out on his family not long after he was born, and his father was a former Polish soldier with PTSD and a severe drug addiction, leading to Kirk experiencing abuse from him for as long as Kirk can remember. Wanting to escape his miserable life, he smuggled himself on a boat bound for Australia when he was 16. Lo and behold, the ship got caught in a windstorm and ended up sinking, and Kirk and a few other survivors ended up stranded on an island. After spending more than a month there, he was taken back to his homeland after being found there. He ended up being the only survivor of the whole ordeal. He was returned to his deranged father, where the next time his father tried to abuse him, he fought back, causing his father to end up in the hospital. Deemed not guilty because he defended himself, Kirk did not spend time in prison for this. His father on the other hand did spend time there for drug-related charges and child abuse, but was killed by another inmate before he could be released. Kirk then went to college, where he studied history there, and decided to become a history teacher. He then kept that job title for over 40 years now, and despite being in his 60s, he is still an enjoyable presence for his students, as he incorporates unusual teaching methods to make his students interested in what he's teaching. Despite being financially stable, he wants to win the money so he can be well off when he retires in a few years.
Maralyn Sander, 32, Tour Guide, u/Void_Drone
Maralyn gives tours of New York, driving around in her bus, answering questions, watching broadway shows. And she spends most of her money on her family, except for the money she spent on her pink pearl necklace. She enjoys the tours for the most part, but when she's alone she vents about how annoying the tours can be.
Kotu Adam (Sinners) Tribe:
Alexa Station, 20, YouTuber, u/IAmWolfNinja
A 3AM YouTuber who arrived late to the trend, Alexa has a tendency to flex her belongings when no one really cares. She was recently involved in a scandal where she faked her boyfriend's death, causing endless amounts of controversy, and a near arrest. Her sub count is dropping significantly every day, so she joined to help gain her popularity (relevancy) back.
Carter Witworth, 23, College Student, u/JTsidol
Witworth, he was born to a extremely rich family, but his parents didn’t have time for him, but spoiled him rotten, when he got into school, he was known for being a bully, however no one confronted him, and everytime he’d get in trouble or fail a test, his parents would pay his way out, last year, he got a slap in the face, when his parents yet again had to bribe the college board to accept him, they cut off his allowance, he’s playing just for the money, nothing else.
Irvin Eamers, 32, Olympic Sprinter, u/asiansurvivorfan
A born athlete, Irvin loved competing in all sports but wasn’t known to play fair as he was never a team player and would often torment others to win. He started training for the Olympics at the age of 17 and eventually got the opportunity to compete in multiple Olympics where he took home many gold medals. However, they were striped from him when he was caught doping and using steroids to give him an edge in races. After the controversy, Irvin’s current wife left him and he was banned from competing in any future competitions. He came on Survivor for one reason and that is that is the money as he’s currently being sued by the Olympic committee.
Jessica Abrefa, 25, Poker Player, u/Twig7665
Jessica wasn't the most well off growing up, she lived in Alabama, where racism was rampant. As such, she was bullied for her race, until one day, she decided that they will all be wrong about her not being able to do anything because of her skin colour. She publicly humiliated the whole football team at her high school, and that stunt got her expelled in her senior year. She didn't care, and then she decided to run away to Las Vegas, which she did. While there, she started modeling, but found it boring. She then picked up the hobby of gambling, and played her first poker match when she was 21. She proved herself to be a formidable foe by beating one of the top poker players at the time, a dude named Brett Herman. Impressed by her skills, he tried to form a bond with her, but she turned him down due to him being a very paranoid man. Now, Jessica dates and cheats on men almost daily, and is considered one of the top female poker players, despite only playing for a few years. An avid Survivor fan, she wants to be as flirty and manipulative as she is in her real life. The only problem would be meeting another poker player, but she finds it unlikely that she will.
Joey "Wildcard" Caruso, 24, Poker Player, u/wordonthestreet2
Joey did not grow up with the best moral compass as his father notoriously had ties to the mafia. He used the money his father made through illegitimate businesses to gamble throughout his teenage years. When his father learned about his poker abilities and how easy it was for him to manipulate his opponents they began using his poker career as a way to launder mafia money through various casinos. He is known for his excellent poker face and unpredictable style of play which earned him the nickname Wildcard.
Maize Nguyen, 28, Heiress, u/Vicctoryy
From the outside looking in, the Nguyen Family Dynasty of San Francisco looks like a well supported and strong business, but from the inside, things are crumbling apart. The matriarch and patriarch are always at each other's necks over the company, leaving their children to clean up their messes. Maize, being the oldest, has taken it upon herself to lead the company, and she leads with an iron will and even harder iron fist. While she seems like a worthy replacement for her faulty parents, she has never been afraid to leave with force. Anyone at the receiving end of a verbal lashing from Maize is likely to not return to work the next day, or ever again. She is arrogant, rude, demeaning, and yet she gets things done. Saving the company from absolute bankruptcy caused a lot of backlash, but Maize couldn't care less. Success should be accomplished by stepping on the necks of those who aren't ready for the power, and Maize has done that exact thing. Any person in Maize's way has been an obstacle she has to conquer, and with a flip of her finger, that obstacle is no longer a problem. She has never been afraid to crack a few eggs to make an omelette, and unfortunately, those eggs have just been working class people struggling to make minimum wage and put dinner on their table. Too bad for them according to Maize. Maize has come to Survivor to prove that the Nguyen Dynasty is far from over, and their business monopoly will run on for years with Maize at the front of it. She is the iceberg, everyone else is a ship with no idea of what's in their way. Those too bold to step in her way are trampled, quite literally. Maize has no problem with controversy, controversy brings attention, attention brings money, and money brings power.
Molly-Anne Benson, 26, Marketing Assistant, u/ghetra
Molly-Anne is a social butterfly. She loves chatting with people about pretty much anything and loves meeting and getting to know new people. She has a natural charm about her that draws people in, but sometimes people are bothered by how chatty she is. She also loves to gossip and is not above spreading rumors. However, she is rather sensitive and can be set off by just about anything. She frequently will push people's buttons if they offend her and will hold a grudge until the end of time.
Nikki Lopez, 29, Stripper, u/Void_Drone
Randall Martin, 49, Real Estate Agent, u/TDSwaggyBoy
Being a self proclaimed sleazeball, which is a very weird thing to be proud of, Randall's life was never too good. He didn't grow up with a lot of close friends. Sure, people liked him at first, but when they really got to know him they didn't appreciate him nor his antics very much. Randall had to make a name for himself. He quickly found a career in the world of real estate. Not even his co-workers enjoyed his company, but they appreciated his skills. Being a fast and smooth talker really pays off in his industry. And now, Randall wants to put his skills to use in SURVIVOR. How well will that pan out?
Vito Luco, 49, Used Car Salesman, u/swoldow
Vito is the last person you'd want to trust with anything. A true con-artist at heart, he now has a job selling used cars, but his past jobs would make you run away from him in fear. When he was younger, he was a part of a major drug-trafficking operation run by the mafia, and he later got a job selling illegal fireworks, both of which got him to do jail time for a decade. Newly released, he seems to be back to his old ways, as he scams people out of their money daily with his faulty cars. He was born constantly overshadowed by his perfect younger brother, who is a popular politician, while he just swindles from people. As a result, he hates people who play loyally, and wants to prove that evil is the best way to play. He isn't afraid to play hard, as that's what he did all his life, and he'll either win, or go out swinging.
Link to Season
Episode 1: The 20 new contestants are welcomed into Turkey, where their first task is to compete in a challenge for reward. The Sinners tribe win this reward due to having more young and fit members than the Saints tribe. As a result, the Saints are already demoralized as they arrive at camp. Cap'n starts to feel good vibes from Ardet and Maralyn, and takes them under his wing to form an alliance. Ava, on the other hand, reveals that she is deaf to Chelsea and Gwen, and the three form another alliance due to being close to one another already. Cap'n sees this and scrambles to find an idol, and does so. Over at the Sinners tribe, Witworth and Jessica see their opportunity to look for an idol, and they find it, giving them more security, while back at camp, Maize and Nikki get into a fight over thinking that the other has an idol, which neither of them do. Vito becomes the moderator of this fight, saying that the three of them plus Irvin and Molly need to stick together in the long run. Randall sees this alliance form and tries to get Alexa, Jessica, Witworth, and Wildcard on board, which they all agree to at first, but then Wildcard sees this as his opportunity to cause conflict within his tribe, so he becomes content with being a swing vote. The Sinners win immunity, and on the Saints tribe it quickly becomes a race to see who can scrape up the swing votes the fastest between Cap'n's alliance and Ava's alliance. Dana becomes the target for Ava's alliance because of her weakness in challenges and her blind loyalty, while Greg is targeted by Ardet and Cap'n due to his shiftiness. They are able to get Kirk and Dana on board to blindside Greg, and they try to talk to Gwen, but she does not flip. Instead, at tribal council, we end up with a 5-5 split, followed by a 4-4 vote split due to no one flipping. Then a rock draw occurs on the first vote of the season. Ardet becomes the victim of the rocks, sending him out of the game despite never receiving a single vote.
Episode 2: After an explosive first vote, Cap'n tries to figure out who flipped on the six and sent Ardet home. No one tells him who did it, so he assumes it was Ardet. Ava tries to flip Maralyn from Cap'n's alliance, but is unsuccessful at doing so. At the Sinners camp, Jessica and Witworth, despite being closely aligned, argue over who gets to keep the idol, and Witworth ends up keeping it in the end. The Saints pull out a surprise victory over the fractured Sinners, and back at camp, Wildcard decides to snake the alliance he was pretending to work with, and joins Vito's alliance. Their first target is none other than Alexa, who saw this game as nothing other than a tool to get more relevancy back, and it particularly irked Vito, who wanted to play against people who played hard. So together, with his alliance and Wildcard, they vote for Alexa. Meanwhile, the four person alliance realizes that Wildcard snaked them, so they vote for him, and Alexa becomes the second person voted off in a 6-4 vote.
Episode 3: After Alexa's vote off, Irvin tries to bond with Vito, wanting to be his right hand man, and they become closer due to both being sleazy people. Wildcard begins to feel like he's in control, and it starts to annoy people on his tribe. At the Saints camp, Cap'n starts to rub people the wrong way because of his cockiness due to having an idol, but no one catches on to him having an idol, which is good news for him, because he plans on holding onto the idol until the merge. The Sinners win immunity for the third time, and they grow cocky because of this. Cap'n and Kirk, being the two oldest men on the tribe, join forces with Dana and Maralyn to take out their biggest threat in the opposing alliance, Greg. However, the other side has majority, and they decide that Dana has been blindly loyal to the other three, and hasn't been pulling her weight in challenges, so she becomes the third person voted out in a 5-4 vote.
Episode 4: After a somewhat boring vote, Greg starts to get paranoid, since he's already gotten 9 votes and it's only episode 4. He then tries to get the minority alliance to pin their votes onto Gwen, but Gwen gets angry at him for doing so, and they have an argument. At Sinners camp, Jessica tries to talk to Irvin, trying to get his alliance to help hers take out Wildcard, and Irvin tells Vito about the plan, and Vito starts to see Wildcard as not being of use anymore. After losing the reward challenge, the Saints come back harder and beat the Sinners at the next challenge. Wildcard lets Vito know that he is going to vote Maize, since he wants to make a big move early on. This becomes the final nail in Wildcard's coffin, as Vito was quite close to Maize. At tribal council, Wildcard becomes the first unanimous boot of the season, going out in a 8-1 vote.
Episode 5: Vito starts to think that Irvin has been playing way too loyally, and he gets into a discussion with him that slowly devolves into a full-blown fight between them, but Vito, realizing that Irvin would make a bad enemy, tries to make it up to him, and it works. The Sinners win both reward and immunity, and they feel elated about it. Cornelius goes to Cap'n and proposes an alliance to him, allowing them to control things from behind the scenes with Maralyn. He also reveals that he has grown a disdain for Greg, and that they need to flip the numbers on him. They get Gwen and Kirk on board, or so they think, but Gwen blabs to Greg and their alliance, leading to Kirk to flip as well. They decide to vote Cornelius out due to him being the biggest gamer on the tribe, and he goes in a 5-3 vote.
Episode 6: The tribes pack up their things, anticipating a swap, but then the host announces that they will be competing for individual immunity on their tribe, and whoever wins will be safe from the double tribal council taking place that night. Maralyn wins for the Saints, and Vito wins for the Sinners. The Sinners also win reward, earning food to enjoy while they watch the other tribe go to tribal council. Witworth, Jessica, and Randall decide it was now or never to get rid of Maize, who had a fight with Randall earlier that day, but Vito, hearing about this, decides that Randall is the biggest sleaze on his tribe, and he needed to go as soon as possible. In his voting confessional, he states there can be only one sleazy guy on the tribe, and that was himself, so Randall had to go, and Randall becomes the sixth person voted out in a 5-3 vote, and he is bitter as all hell about it. At the Saints tribe, Cap'n becomes angry over the fact he cannot vote in the majority, and it makes the majority annoyed with him, so they decide to vote him off. Luckily for Cap'n, he still has an idol, so he and Maralyn vote for the most threatening player in their minds, Chelsea, and Cap'n plays his idol, sending Chelsea out of the game in a 2-0 vote.
Episode 7: After Chelsea's idol out, Cap'n officially became public enemy number one on his tribe, and he tries to find his rehidden idol, but Kirk finds it instead. Maralyn and Greg have a fight due to the food on their tribe running low, and morale being even lower. At the Sinners tribe, Nikki begins to be seen as an easy goat due to her one-sided loyalty to Vito. Morale at the Saints tribe dips even lower when they lose both reward and immunity. Not wanting to lose again,the majority decide to vote off their oldest member, Cap'n, as a last ditch attempt to prevent them from going on a losing streak. Cap'n and Maralyn vote for Greg, and Cap'n becomes the eighth person voted out in a 5-3 vote, missing out on the jury by one placement.
Episode 8: After Cap'n's vote out, there are only five members on the Saints tribe, compared to the Sinners having seven. The Sinners increase their winning streak by two by winning both reward and immunity. At the Sinners camp, Jessica and Witworth have another fight over the idol, with Jessica insisting that she keep it. This causes the rest of the tribe to be alerted to the fact that Jessica and Witworth have an idol, and Witworth becomes a target because of this. At the Saints tribe, the women form a tight three, and Kirk and Greg are forced to band together to survive. At tribal council, the three women stay strong, and Greg is voted out 3-2 and becomes the first member of the jury, leaving only four Saints left in the game.
Episode 9: With his back up against the wall, Kirk knows that he's probably gone next if he didn't have the idol, which ensured his survival until merge. The Saints finally win a challenge, a reward challenge, but lose immunity once again to the inflated egos of the Sinners. Not much else happens this episode, but Kirk tries to get Maralyn to flip and vote out Ava, but she disagrees to do so, and she votes for Gwen instead, making Kirk not trust her, and he decides to vote for her, while also playing his idol. This causes a 1-1-0 tie between Gwen and Maralyn, and Ava, misunderstanding what would happen if she forced a tie, votes for Gwen while Kirk votes for Maralyn, and Ava becomes the second person in King's Survivor history to be eliminated by default, due to there being no other options, and she becomes the second member of the jury
Episode 10: At long last, the tribes merge into the purple Ucurum tribe, meaning balance in Turkish. Left in the game is Witworth, Gwen, Irvin, Jessica, Kirk, Maize, Maralyn, Molly, Nikki, and Vito. At first, it seems like it would be Saint Vs Sinner, but Jessica and Witworth come to the three Saints left in the game, and they convince them to vote with them come tribal council. Vito wins his second immunity challenge of the season, and his target was Witworth for being the strongest male not in his alliance, and also for lying about not having an idol, which he believed was given to Jessica. At tribal council, the lines cause a 5-5 divide between Irvin and Witworth, and on the revote, Maralyn randomly decides to flip to avoid a tie, and Carter Witworth becomes the third member of the jury, and also another person to go out with an idol in their pocket. He is understandably pretty pissed about this ordeal, but wishes his tribe well.
Episode 11: The day after Witworth's blindside, the nine remaining contestants compete in a reward challenge, which the team containing Irvin, Maralyn, and Vito win. At the reward, Irvin and Vito realize how dangerous Maralyn could be after she starts trying to talk game with them. Soon afterwards, Maralyn finds the idol, and Jessica calls out Molly for following Vito almost blindly. Nikki wins the second post merge immunity challenge, and Vito tries to recruit Jessica for the vote, which succeeds. They then choose to target Maralyn, since she was the most threatening out of the three Saints, and the six remaining Sinners pin votes onto her. Unfortunately for them, Maralyn pulls out an idol, and the Saints vote for Irvin, a potential immunity threat, making him the fourth member of the jury in a 3-0 vote.
Episode 12: After Irvin's blindside, only two men are still in the game, compared to the six women. Nikki is able to find an idol, after thinking that she hasn't been playing hard enough, while Molly gets into a fight with Maralyn over the latter pulling out an idol, which she hadn't wanted her to do. Molly wins immunity, and it becomes a battle of the Saints Vs the Sinners, just like the theme of the season. The Saints go after Maize, wanting to weaken Vito further before going after him, but they are unable to swing anyone over and Vito, fueled by vengeance, gets his alliance to vote for Maralyn. In a 5-3 vote, Maralyn becomes the fifth member of the jury. Back at camp, the final seven become annoyed at Nikki's arrogance after being safe from being voted out, so she becomes a target for the two remaining Saints left. Kirk also becomes a target for being a perceived leader for Gwen, causing him to be target numero uno. After Kirk wins immunity, the target shifts from him to Gwen, due to her being perceived as not wanting to play the game, and rather would be along for the ride, which Vito found unpalatable. Kirk and Gwen then try to vote out Molly for her strength in challenges, and in the end, Gwen gets the boot in a 5-2 vote, making her the sixth juror.
Episode 13: With only six people left in the game, the final reward challenge takes place. Maize wins it, and she shares it with Vito, her closest ally, and Jessica, who her and Vito wanted to bring closer. Soon, they realize what a threat she could be, especially because she's a poker player, she becomes the biggest target instead of Kirk. Luckily for her, she wins immunity. Kirk tries to bond with Maize as a way to get Vito to not vote him out, but it backfires, and he becomes the biggest target yet again. At tribal council, he votes for Molly, but everyone else votes for him, making him the seventh juror in a 5-1 vote and completely eliminating the Saints from the game.
Finale: Jessica, Maize, Molly, Nikki, and Vito remain. Five players who had remarkably different playing styles, but all came from the same tribe. They compete in the second-to-last immunity challenge, which Maize wins, and the biggest target becomes Jessica again, who has proven herself to be the only player not following Vito, and only voting with him just to get further in the game. Vito does not feel the same way about keeping Jessica around, so he and his alliance with Nikki, Molly, and Maize vote for her, and Nikki plays her idol in case someone flipped on her, and Jessica becomes the eighth juror in a 4-0 vote. Back at camp, Vito feels incredibly cocky, and he tries to influence a fight, and he does so between Nikki and Maize. He then goes on to win final immunity, and Nikki tanks her own game with her fight with Maize, and everyone votes her out, causing her to become the ninth juror in a 3-1 vote. The final three consists of Maize, Molly, and Vito. Molly gets criticism for her lack of strategy, only using her social game to get far, and her challenge capabilities. Maize is seen as following too closely to Vito, but the jury is willing to vote for her if Vito tanks his jury speech. He does not, and explains his game in great detail, saying he started out forming a five person alliance on the first night, he commenced the Wildcard blindside, the Witworth blindside, the Jessica blindside, etc. He did it all, but the bonds he formed in the game were genuine, and he didn't intend his villainous backstabbing to be taken personal. In the end, he gets all the jury votes, even from two people he never met, Greg and Ava. Maralyn wins the Fan Favorite for standing up to Vito and her idol play.
Winner: Vito Luco, u/swoldow
Fan Favorite: Maralyn Sander, u/Void_Drone
Potential Returnees (yeah, I haven't done this in a while): Vito, Jessica, Kirk, Maralyn, WItworth, Ava, Cap'n, maybe Ardet, if I do a first boot season
Next season, will be the final season before season 35, I won't spoil the theme for 35, but trust me, it won't be a season to miss. Season 34 however, with the release of the new Island Of The Idols sim, it will feature two King's Survivor Idols, who will be revealed with the sign ups. Next season will be King's Survivor Venezuela: Island Of The Idols!

Rachel Schneider
ENG 477
Date 1/11/2021
Marsha Blackburn
A Writing Portfolio
I want to write my own fiction stories one day; I have had a book or two swimming around in my head so I will put the computer to good use and get that typed out one of these days. In this instance I chose my 5 stories and even though one is a marketing inquiry I had fun writing it, so here are my things and some background some of them.
Resume: It is a basic one because my photo ones were not particularly good, and this is an honest resume besides the ones I made for class and I did fudge on those.
Cover letter: I made up the cover letter though there is a penguin Books but it is always fun to use your imagination!
Hike with Drew: I got the concept from a Writer’s Digest and entered it into a contes I never got a response but good practice.
Short Story Vegas: Was one I did for another class but in here I changed it and the story was much better the second time.
Marketing Flyer: This was fun to do those are stock photos of the dogs and squeaky toys, but I like Pit Bulls and dog toys are fun as well.
Scott part 1-This is a story I am working on with another writer, warning its very sexy and some naughty words are in there as well.
Writing Samples: I made these three samples up one day because as I have looked for writing work, I have seen people want a sample of your work, so I came up with these.
Rachel
Schneider
​
3867 Houghton Ave Riverside CA 92501 📷
951-743-8911 📷
[email protected] 📷
Rachel Schneider 📷
Rachel7Tori-Twitter 📷
📷
​
Objective
To get a career going in the fiction/short story writing industry my imagination can run with any scenario and to write is to live.
📷
​
Education
Bachelor of Arts in English | Grand Canyon University
2017 – 2021
Took 15 different writing courses, creative writing and even two fun marketing classes all to polish up my craft. Carried a 3.0 GPA and did the courses all online as well.
No Degree Obtained | Riverside Community College
June 1994 – December 1996
Took these college courses but did not finish got 32 Units of Child Development Courses though which is what I was going for
📷
​
Experience
Cafeteria Worker 1
2008 Currently Employed.
Cook, Prep, serve food in a middle school setting, also clean, count inventory and do next day prep, cash handling and POS register experience.
Bell Ringer | Salvation Army
November 2007 – December 2007
Rang bell and collected donations for the salvation Army in front of various stores during the holiday season.
📷
​
Skills
Food handlers Card
CPR First Aid certified
​
Grammar Proficiency
Spelling Proficiency
Can work from home
📷
​
Activities
Have good use of social media and can help update or bring in new followers with my creative writing side. Have a Reddit account as well with 30 stories up on that site. Can speak a little Spanish and Hebrew as well.
951-743-8911
[email protected]
3867 Houghton Ave Riverside CA 92501
​

Rachel Schneider

Writer

​
​

Penguin Books

​

Dear JENNIFER MCGREGOR,

1/21/2021
Jennifer McGregor
Fiction Publisher
4587 Tropicana Rd.
Las Vegas NV 89102
​
I have included my resume for the short story writer for young adult novels. It has been a few years, but I currently work in a middle school, so I do see all the angst and sass that goes with being a young teen. I do hope my writing samples can help me move to the top of the list. I look forward to working with Penguin Books and letting kids know being a teen is hard at first, but it does not last forever.
Sincerely,
Rachel Schneider
Rachel Schneider
3867 Houghton Ave
Riverside CA 92501
It had been a long cold winter Drew and I could not get out for a morning hike till today. Being 75 degrees, we did not have to wear many layers. He is an extremely sweet inquisitive boy who always asks a lot of questions. Why does moss grow on the north side of trees” he asks? Its times like this when it would be nice to have my husband here, but he is overseas where the work is. “well, it’s not just the north side it’s on the shadier side because that is where the moisture is.”
On we went looking at snails on the ground watching the deer pass by along a ridge. Being quiet as to not startle them. “Mom he whispered it’s a bunny den they are coming out for food, he leaves a few carrot and lettuce scraps from last night’s dinner. I walked down the path and spotted some glorious Blue Jays and a Downey Woodpecker. “Listen Drew the woodpecker is getting the bugs out of the trees.” My sweet Drew was staring at the Bunnies, they are cute and fluffy after all. We followed our path down further after the bunnies went back to the den.
The skies were getting cloudy, so I hoped the rain was not going to come back. Though the weather report said there was a chance. My little explorer with his school uniform on was undeterred, I wish I could wear shorts on a 75 day and not be cold, it is always nice to be young. Walking along our path we spot some squirrels running in circles around the tree. “Why do the chase each other like that” Drew asks. “Maybe it’s a game for them like ring around the Rosie.”
On we trek to our favorite stream where the deer family are taking their drinks. I tell Drew we cannot skip stones right now we do not want to scare them. We look through the grass for more of his favorite bugs, saw some worms just below the dirt by a tree. Looking up we see a big spider web being made between two branches. The crows were making their calls in the distance. We are finally able to skip our stones in the stream. He gets some great skips going, and we collect some new rocks for our little garden back home.
Walking past the stream we climb up the embankment and up along the ridge where we see a Fox off in the distance. He or she walks the opposite direction we are going so it is a relief we can continue to the clearing. Where there are more bugs, rocks, and Bunnies. We pass the Deer family as they run up the hill to were, they mostly frolic or maybe they live up there. We stop for a snack of Apples, Almonds, and some cheese sticks. When we were finished Drew put a couple of slices in his pocket to feed the Bunnies, I am sure.
“Mommy we’re getting to the clearing now we can see the Bunnies and the last time Daddy, and I were here I got some neat rocks too.” Drew told ne enthusiastically, I did love his passion for nature, though again my husband is much better at the nature stuff. I am a pastry Chef ask me about desserts and I am your woman, about why moss grows on trees and hello Google. Since Dad is unavailable, I step in and let him explore and see the world outside of the house and off the screen.
It is just another half mile and it is on to the clearing. He starts to pull me hand a little harder I know he is excited. We pass under the tree I glance up and see the Fox again. Then we stop and see “Daddy home……
Name: Rachel Schneider
Course: ENG 361
Date: 4/14/2020
Instructor: Debbie Graves
One Week In Las Vegas
The countdown started Friday at 2pm I got the week off from this thing I call a job (just over broke). The car was packed, it was time to hit the road. The traffic was average and climbing the Cajon Pass was not that bad. I stopped in Baker to have my favorite meal at Bob’s Big Boy, the chili spaghetti, no onions. After making my way back on the highway the traffic picked up going out of Baker, through to Primm and Stateline. I had to stop for gas at Whiskey Pete’s, so I also went in and got some snack goodies. My favorite trail mix and some cheese potato chips because vending machines are too expensive. The road was beckoning so off I went, traveling through Jean is always nice, not much to see. A prison, a few remaining casinos, some outbuildings, and a truck stop. There slogan was always fun 40 smiles closer than Vegas. You can get bored so be sure to pack some music you can have your own car concert. “I’ll face it with a grin I’m never giving in, on with the show” (Show Must Go on by Queen)
Finally, the Vegas skyline is in sight, the lights are not on yet, but they will be needing to navigate around the strip. I do say a few words the terrible drivers. This vacation was so needed my job is crazy, my kids are older now and do not need mom around anymore. Off they went to grandma’s house and I booked the week at the Delano, it is attached to the Mandalay bay so perfect access to all the fun of the strip, and just enough luxury to not look cheap. Getting the valet to take the car I check into my genuinely nice room I have a great view of the Luxor light (that comes off the top of the hotel) and the Excalibur. Now off to indulge in that genuinely nice bathtub and get some overdue reading done. My bathroom with a view has the Luxor light and that is the brightest light on the Vegas strip it comes right out of the top of the Pyramid shaped hotel. A brightness of 42.3 billion candela, you could read a paper from 10 miles straight up if you wanted to.
Once I was well soaked and finished with my chapters it was time to find something to eat besides my snack foods. After cruising the room service options, I settled on some Mexican food of chorizo and eggs with nice corn tortillas. That hit the spot so with the extra energy it was time to get out for a stroll of the property. The indoor pool is nice but small and I want to soak up the sunshine and get some exercise so I shall hit the outdoor pool tomorrow. Back in the lobby I grab those ads for things to do in the city so I can plan out the rest of my trip. There are thousands of things to do in Vegas. Do not be disappointed if you do not get everything done, that is what the next trip is for. I have a beautiful week and I want to have a good time and not have to wait for anybody, I can do what I want. I got those and cruised up through the lobby and toward the casino on my way there I saw a sign for a food and wine festival. With that guy Zac from the travel channel. Thinking hmm I did not know he was interested in food or wine. I went down and found my favorite penny slot game Lucky cat. After 15 minutes I came out putting 20 in and winning 500, so I called it a night and went to the bar to catch a hockey game and grab a fun fruity drink (I like tequila sunrise, (Tequila, grenadine, and cranberry juice). As I am rooting for the Golden Knights (local Vegas hockey team) I looked over to my left and there was Zac from the travel channel, and he likes hockey too this is awesome, and I am trying not to be a fan girl.
The game was in intermission and the Knights were winning so it was time for a new fruity drink so this time I turned around to get back to the bar and bumped right into Zac, boy was my face red. After some apologies and an offer to buy my next fruity drink (a Strawberry Daiquiri) it was a yes and I spilled that I was a fan. He told me he does have an interest in food and wine not just chasing ghosts with his crew. We had some great conversation and when the game came back on, we both sat in the booth cheering the golden knights to their victory. Now I am buzzed and standing up was going to be fun, but Zac was a true gentleman and helped me to my feet. He offered to buy me dinner. The Taco Hut was a good place the tortillas were fresh, and the company was so cool. The conversation turned to food, wine, travel, and some stuff about me. The midnight hour rolled around, and Zac had an early morning, so we said goodnight, but he was staying one floor above me, so we agreed to go to the diner in the lobby for breakfast or brunch. At 10am I was enjoying my company and this great stick to your ribs breakfast (scrambled eggs, sausage, hash browns and some great watermelon) The food offerings in Vegas are so varied you can get everything from a hot dog and beer for 1.99 at the Orleans, to a 5-star meal at Caesar’s Palace the buffets are great too. Although sometimes you want a nice sit-down dinner.
The conversation was effortless the attraction was deep. We made plans to see each other again after the food contest he was judging was over. Saying goodbye was a bit hard but the hand holding was sweet and made me feel like a schoolgirl again. After saying goodbye and I did watch him walk into the convention hall I went back to my room to plan out the rest of my day. I chose a tour of the Mob Museum, they say that Vegas was built with Mob money, but it was a Mormon founded town that later Hollywood discovered. Then many people in Hollywood who were well connected (such as East Coast mobsters) financed Bugsy Segal to build the Flamingo Hotel. As I was putting my shoes on, I got a knock on the room door and as I opened it, I got some flowers (pink roses) and an all-access pass to the food and wine festival courtesy of Zac. Let us just say the Mob Museum can wait for later I got to go to a food and wine festival and spend the rest of the week with Zac. “hi Zac thanks for the flowers it was sweet of you to remember.” He said, “It’s always right to remember a ladies flower preference because that’s the right thing to do.” Smiling the rest of the day I meet other travel channel celebrities and got to taste some great foods and many different wines. The food and wine offerings at the hotels and restaurants are varied, the Las Vegas area have become very international, so the varieties are endless.
The week went by in a blur of food, wine, conversation, and some sweet dates. I never thought I would get over the break-up that happened the week before. Getting a private Vegas tour was something completely special. I did get to see the Mob Museum, Mandalay Bay Fine Art Museum, seven magic mountains, Pinball Hall of fame and a private dinner at the food and wine festival. My days in Vegas were down to one. We had reservations at Rivera right here at the Delano the view is amazing, the food is impressive with Italian and French offers. “I have had a wonderful time this week Zac thank you for mending my broken heart.” He looked at me for a minute and said, “it’s been a pleasure to get to know you and I would not mind visiting your hometown, you always have a reason to come back to Las Vegas. The next food and wine festival is around Christmas, this one will include chocolate.” Hitting the 15 early the next morning I have visions of Christmas, a pass to the food and wine festival, also a brand-new relationship to take back home with me.
The End
When writing a short story, you want to keep it from rambling and have enough details to keep it fresh. When your reader gets into the story you want them to feel like they are there with you, going to the food and wine festival, on that hike through the seven-mountains or touring the mob museum. The details are the thing to see and make sure to watch out for punctuation and common language. An average short story is within 6,00 words or 24 pages. If you wanted too you could go short-short story and that is between 500 and 2,00 words. That comes out to be 6 pages (Minot, Steven Ch. 7 pg. 41), talk about short stories. The story is all your length and style matter as much as how you want it to come into focus.
Minot, Steven and Theil Daniel Three genres the writing of literary pose, poems and plays Ninth edition Pearson Publications 2012
Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium
August 18,2019📷📷
24755 Holly Grove Way
Brookings OR, 97415
Dear Dogs, Rule the World
I am Rachel Schneider from the Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium we make extra bouncy dog toys for our furry friends. We investigated different marketing companies and choose you to do our direct to customer marketing. The way the website is set up the customers can get the product’s directly from you is easier than a multi-level marketing plan. The distribution of Bouncy Dog Toy will be a one level channel, we will provide the toys you market, and we sell them. I would like to get some videos of our company dogs Mac and Stella playing with the toys so you can post on the website. A link for the company can also be included so the consumers know where the toys came from, what they are made of and any other facts about Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium.
Sincerely, Rachel V Schneider
Mac and Stella company dogs and testers 📷
📷 📷📷 📷A sample of our products, our bounciest toys.
Scott’s Story Part 1
I am Scott Thorn, and I am going back to WDU for the first time in 15 years, I went here for a year but after I came out as gay there really were no gay dudes. I am all men but yeah lesbians were all around some BI guys but no real gay dudes. I went back to the mainland and attended Preston University I majored in administration and minored in Literature. I did at one point in my life have a girlfriend and wanted to marry her, but I could not quash the gay lifestyle. That part of my life is over and now the old school offered me a counseling job, have not done this in a while. I get to help students toward there after college career.
I sit here on this boat and keeping an eye on my 75 Triumph I have some nerves, but it is mostly about seeing this place again, so as the boat pulls up, I get my bike going and make a stop at my new on campus apartment. Its west facing because I like sunsets more than sunrise, so I did not know it needed so much work. I have some handy skills but a little at a time. The kitchen is decent and so is the bathroom. The floors will need some polish and the deck needs to be stained, this is a duplex, so I hope the neighbors are quiet. It is furnished and done nicely so I cannot complain too much, but back on the bike to see the Dean.
I get my bike set with the kill switch and walk up the way to the Admin building, I am pretty much the only one dressed. I am wearing my good black jeans and my dress shirt, in my favorite color Maroon. I do remember this place was obsessed with sex so I will stick out wearing clothes, as I enter the building at least more admin people are dressed. Miss Grant the secretary shows me to my new office, its spacious much bigger that my last one at Preston where I shared a cubicle with another person. I have files from past students and current ones, so I started filing them when Dean Kane walks in, booty shorts and a tank top. “Welcome back to WDU Scott, we look forward to seeing you succeed you come very recommended.” I could hardly concentrate because this Dean was hung but I persevered and said, “Thank you sir I look forward to helping young students find there after WDU careers.”
After he left, I had to get my rise to settle then I continued filing and looking through some files. Clarissa Love that was a name that got around even all the way to Preston. I think she does the Jax in the bedroom or something like that. I started looking around and thought I need some life in this office so I asked Miss Grant about decorating and she said I could do what I wanted but no painting, so I went to town and checked out a flea market. I found some pictures of the beaches of Canada, some old homes in the area and a few movie posters from Rocky horror Picture Show (it is my favorite). The flea market said they will deliver to the school tomorrow so I told them I will be there at 9am.
Now with my day done I get to the store to buy some groceries and realize this place uses sextons and I was down to my last few, so now I will need to exchange but thankfully a bank is nearby so I can get some of my mainland money exchanged. I pull up to my new pad off load my few groceries and notice some other tenant left beer in the fridge, talk about luck. I got the beer went to the deck and watched the sunset over the sky. It was going to be new here, but I needed a fresh start after getting dumped and losing the job because my ex was in upper management, never will I do that again. I will find someone who does not work in the school system. After I ate a roast beef and cheddar sandwich for dinner, watched some cooking shows it was time for bed. As I was brushing my teeth, I heard the neighbors having sex. Oh, goody they are not quiet. hope they do not have super energy either. Tomorrow is my first full day and I have decorating to do, fantastic they stopped, that is the thing with us older people we do not fuck like bunnies anymore. As far as I know the neighbors are lesbians so who knows.
Sample 1- If I try my hardest, I could muster up enough courage to ask the prettiest girl in school to prom. I had a suit; bolo tie and I will shine my old boots up. The thing is my courage is not as strong as my best friend Nick, now there is one brave dude who just asked the girl I wanted to go to prom with and of course she said yes. I gather myself close my locker and put on my best smile for them both. Nick and I high five and I hug her, trying to be genuine but it is hard. I head to my Social studies class and sit down next to Megan she looks at me with some concern I tell her what happened, she then asks me to Prom…...
Sample 2-Wishing I did not have to be here I sit at the back of the funeral and think about my old high school principal. I grew up in a small town and everyone knew everyone, we only had one school and you went there for kindergarten through senior year. After my graduation I packed up my old car and headed out to what I thought was the real world. Living in a bigger city only helped spur my loneliness so who says you cannot come home again, well Mom for starters because I abandoned my family, I am not welcome at home ever again (so tired of her drama), so I am staying at Principal Mason’s house yes, the same principal that I am at a funeral for I held her hand as she lay there succumbing to cancer……
Sample 3-If you really want to get over a breakup getting back on the horse will help things along. I thought that too seven lousy dates ago so here I am on date number 8 and I am not seeing any birds singing or rainbows in the sky. He steps away to take a call he is a particularly important lawyer after all (I need to fix my picker) after he comes back, he says it go time the jury has come back so off he goes. I finish my drink and head back to my brownstone close by, I pass the new chocolate shop that just opened, and I get inside and see chocolate heaven. Looking around I do not see him at first but there he is my old college lab partner Sam I just saw a rainbow…….

It could be the best in terms of anything
Paul Newman: The Hustler, Cool Hand Luke, Exodus, From the Terrace, Paris Blues, Hud, Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man, Sweet Bird of Youth, Harper, Lady L, Hombre, Torn Curtain, Winning, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Secret War of Harry Frigg, The Prize, What a Way to Go!, The Outrage, and A New Kind of Love.
Gregory Peck: To Kill a Mockingbird, Mackenna's Gold, The Chairman, Cape Fear, Captain Newman, M.D., How the West Was Won, Behold a Pale Horse, Marooned, Mirage, Arabesque, The Stalking Moon, and The Guns of Navarone.
Steve McQueen: The Sand Pebbles, The Great Escape, Love with the Proper Stranger, The Magnificent Seven, The Thomas Crown Affair, The Cincinnati Kid, Bullitt, The Honeymoon Machine, The Honeymoon Machine, The War Lover, Soldier in the Rain, Nevada Smith, Baby the Rain Must Fall, and The Reivers.
Dustin Hoffman: The Graduate, Midnight Cowboy, The Tiger Makes Out, Madigan's Millions, and John and Mary.
Peter O Toole: Lawrence of Arabia, Becket, The Lion in Winter, Goodbye, Mr. Chips, Kidnapped, The Day They Robbed the Bank of England, The Savage Innocents, What's New Pussycat?, The Sandpiper, Lord Jim, How to Steal a Million, The Bible: In the Beginning..., Casino Royale, The Night of the Generals, and Great Catherine.
Henry Fonda: How the West Was Won, Firecreek, Once Upon a Time in the West, Madigan, The Boston Strangler, Fail Safe, Sex and the Single Girl, The Longest Day, Advise & Consent, Spencer's Mountain, The Dirty Game, In Harm's Way, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, Welcome to Hard Times, The Best Man, The Rounders, Battle of the Bulge, and Yours, Mine and Ours.
Toshiro Mifune: Shinsengumi, The Battle of the Japan Sea, Red Lion, Safari 5000, Hell in the Pacific, Samurai Banners, The Day the Sun Rose, Admiral Yamamoto, Japan's Longest Day, The Sands of Kurobe, Samurai Rebellion, Grand Prix, The Mad Atlantic, The Adventure of Kigan Castle, Rise Against the Sword, The Sword of Doom, Fort Graveyard, The Retreat from Kiska, Sanshiro Sugata, Samurai Assassin, Red Beard, Legacy of the 500,000, The Lost World of Sinbad, Whirlwind, Chūshingura: Hana no Maki, Yuki no Maki, Attack Squadron!, High and Low, Yojimbo, The Youth and his Amulet, Sanjuro, Tatsu, Three Gentlemen Return from Hong Kong, Salaryman Chushingura Part 1 & 2, The Story of Osaka Castle, The Youth and his Amulet, Ánimas Trujano, The Last Gunfight, The Gambling Samurai, The Bad Sleep Well, Man Against Man, and Storm Over the Pacific.
Montgomery Clift: Judgment at Nuremberg, The Misfits, Freud: The Secret Passion, The Defector, and Wild River.
Burt Lancaster: Judgment at Nuremberg, Birdman of Alcatraz, Elmer Gantry, Seven Days in May, The Leopard, The Professionals, The Unforgiven, The Young Savages, The List of Adrian Messenger, A Child Is Waiting, The Hallelujah Trail, The Train, The Swimmer, The Scalphunters, Castle Keep, and The Gypsy Moths.
Marlon Brando: Mutiny on the Bounty, The Fugitive Kind, One-Eyed Jacks, Morituri, The Chase, Bedtime Story, The Ugly American, Reflections in a Golden Eye, Candy, The Appaloosa, The Night of the Following Day, Burn!, and A Countess from Hong Kong.
Tony Curtis: Captain Newman, M.D., The Boston Strangler, Sex and the Single Girl, Spartacus, Pepe, The Rat Race, The Great Impostor, The List of Adrian Messenger, 40 Pounds of Trouble, Paris When It Sizzles, The Outsider, Taras Bulba, Goodbye Charlie, Not with My Wife, You Don't!, The Great Race, Wild and Wonderful, Boeing Boeing, Chamber of Horrors, On My Way to the Crusades, I Met a Girl Who..., Rosemary's Baby, Drop Dead Darling, Don't Make Waves, Monte Carlo or Bust!, and Who Was That Lady?.
Robert Redford: The Chase, Tall Story, Situation Hopeless... But Not Serious, War hunt, Inside Daisy Clover, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Barefoot in the Park, This Property Is Condemned, Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here, and Downhill Racer.
Anthony Perkins: Tall Story, Psycho, The Trial, Phaedra, Pretty Poison, Five Miles to Midnight, Goodbye Again, The Fool Killer, Une ravissante idiote, Le glaive et la balance, The Champagne Murders, and Is Paris Burning?.
John Huston: Candy, The List of Adrian Messenger, The Cardinal, Casino Royale, and The Bible: In the Beginning
John Wayne: How the West Was Won, The Sons of Katie Elder, The Longest Day, True Grit, El Dorado, Cast a Giant Shadow, The War Wagon, The Green Berets, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Hatari!, North to Alaska, The Alamo, The Comancheros, The Greatest Story Ever Told, Circus World, Hellfighters, and The Undefeated.
Jack Lemmon: The Great Race,Pepe, The Apartment, The Wackiest Ship in the Army, The Notorious Landlad, Days of Wine and Roses, Under the Yum Yum Tree, Irma la Douce, How to Murder Your Wife, Good Neighbor Sam, Luv, The Fortune Cookie, The Odd Couple, and The April Fools.
Marcello Mastroianni: 8 1/2, La Dolce Vita, La Notte, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, Divorce Italian Style, Marriage Italian Style, The 10th Victim, Adua and Her Friends, Il bell'Antonio, Ghosts of Rome, La Notte, Family Diary, Family Diary, The Organizer, Kiss the Other Sheik, Me, Me, Me... and the Others, Casanova 70, Shoot Loud, Louder... I Don't Understand, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, Ghosts – Italian Style, Amanti, Break Up, The Stranger, and Diamonds for Breakfast.
James Stewart: How the West Was Won, Firecreek, The Flight of the Phoenix, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Cheyenne Autumn, The Mountain Road, Two Rode Together, Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation, Take Her, She's Mine, Shenandoah, Dear Brigitte, Bandolero!, and The Rare Breed.
Robert Mitchum: What a Way to Go!, Cape Fear, The Longest Day, El Dorado, Home from the Hill, The Sundowners, A Terrible Beauty, Two for the Seesaw, The Last Time I Saw Archie, The Grass Is Greener, The Way West, Mister Moses, Rampage, Man in the Middle, Anzio, 5 Card Stud, Villa Rides, The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, Secret Ceremony, and Young Billy Young.
Robert Duvall: Captain Newman, M.D., True Grit, To Kill a Mockingbird, Bullitt, The Chase, Nightmare in the Sun, Countdown, and The Detective.
Jean-Paul Belmondo: Breathless, That Man from Rio, Seven Days... Seven Nights, Trapped by Fear, Classe Tous Risques, The Lovemakers, Two Women, Lettere di una novizia, Love and the Frenchwoman, Le Doulos, Famous Love Affairs, Cartouche, A Man Named Rocca, Mare matto, The Winner, Sweet and Sour, Banana Peel, A Monkey in Winter, Backfire, Greed in the Sun, Weekend at Dunkirk, The Shortest Day, Magnet of Doom, Tender Scoundrel, Is Paris Burning?, Casino Royale, Male Hunt, Crime on a Summer Morning, Pierrot le Fou, Up to His Ears, Ho!, The Brain, Mississippi Mermaid, and Love Is a Funny Thing.
Kirk Douglas: Seven Days in May, The List of Adrian Messenger, Spartacus, Is Paris Burning?, The War Wagon, The Way West, Lonely Are the Brave, The Heroes of Telemark, Town Without Pity, The Last Sunset, For Love or Money, The Hook, The Arrangement, The Legend of Silent Night, The Brotherhood, A Lovely Way to Die, and Cast a Giant Shadow.
Charles Bronson: The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape, Battle of the Bulge, Villa Rides, Guns of Diablo, X-15, The Bull of the West, 4 for Texas, Lola, Once Upon a Time in the West, Guns for San Sebastian, The Dirty Dozen, A Thunder of Drums, Kid Galahad, Master of the World, The Sandpiper, This Property Is Condemned, The Meanest Men in the West, and Adieu l'ami.
Orson Welles: Casino Royale, Is Paris Burning?, The Trial, Kampf um Rom, The Thirteen Chairs, The Merchant of Venice, Battle of Neretva, Tepepa, The Southern Star, I'll Never Forget What's'isname, A Man for All Seasons, David and Goliath, La Fayette, Austerlitz, Crack in the Mirror, The Tartars, The V.I.P.s, Chimes at Midnight, In the Land of Don Quixote, Marco the Magnificent, House of Cards, The Immortal Story, and Oedipus the King.
William Holden: Paris When It Sizzles, The Wild Bunch, The World of Suzie Wong, The Lion, Satan Never Sleeps, The Counterfeit Traitor, Casino Royale, The Devil's Brigade, The 7th Dawn, Alvarez Kelly, and The Christmas Tree.
Frank Sinatra: Cast a Giant Shadow, The Detective, 4 for Texas, The Manchurian Candidate, Tony Rome, Pepe, The Devil at 4 O'Clock, The Road to Hong Kong, Sergeants 3, Come Blow Your Horn, None but the Brave, Paris When It Sizzles, Lady in Cement, The Oscar, Assault on a Queen, The Naked Runner, Von Ryan's Express, Marriage on the Rocks, and Robin and the 7 Hoods.
Elvis Presley: G.I. Blues, Kid Galahad, Wild in the Country, Follow That Dream, Blue Hawaii, It Happened at the World's Fair, Girls! Girls! Girls!, Fun in Acapulco, Roustabout, Viva Las Vegas, Kissin' Cousins, Frankie and Johnny, Girl Happy, Harum Scarum, Tickle Me, Clambake, Easy Come, Easy Go, Double Trouble, Stay Away, Joe, Live a Little, Love a Little, Speedway, Change of Habit, The Trouble with Girls, Charro!, Spinout, and Paradise, Hawaiian Style.
Edmond O'Brien: The Wild Bunch, The Longest Day, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Fantastic Voyage, The Great Impostor, The Last Voyage, The 3rd Voice, Birdman of Alcatraz, Man-Trap, Moon Pilot, Sylvia, Rio Conchos, The Hanged Man, The Outsider, Synanon, The Doomsday Flight, The Love God?, Flesh and Blood, The Viscount, and To Commit a Murder.
Ben Johnson: The Wild Bunch, The Rare Breed, The Undefeated, Hang 'Em High, Cheyenne Autumn, Will Penny, One-Eyed Jacks, Ten Who Dared, Tomboy and the Champ, and Major Dundee.
Warren Oates: The Wild Bunch, The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond, The Rounders, Ride the High Country, Private Property, Mail Order Bride, Hero's Island, In the Heat of the Night, Welcome to Hard Times, The Shooting, Return of the Seven, Smith!, Crooks and Coronets, The Split, Something for a Lonely Man, and Lanton Mills.
Sidney Poitier: In the Heat of the Night, Lilies of the Field, A Patch of Blue, To Sir, With Love, A Raisin in the Sun, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Paris Blues, The Long Ships, Pressure Point,All the Young Men, The Bedford Incident, The Greatest Story Ever Told, The Slender Thread, Duel at Diablo, For Love of Ivy, and The Lost Man.
Rod Steiger: The Longest Day, In the Heat of the Night, The Pawn broker, Doctor Zhivago, No Way to Treat a Lady, Three into Two Won't Go, Seven Thieves, The Mark, 13 West Street, World in My Pocket, Convicts 4, Time of Indifference, Hands over the City, A Man Named John, The Loved One, The Girl and the General, The Sergeant, and The Illustrated Man.
Ernest Borgnine: The Dirty Dozen, The Wild Bunch, The Legend of Lylah Clare, Pay or Die, The Last Judgment, Barabbas, The Italian Brigands, McHale's Navy, The Flight of the Phoenix, The Oscar, The Split, A Bullet for Sandoval, Ice Station Zebra, Chuka, Go Naked in the World, Black City, and Man on a String.
George Kennedy: The Boston Strangler, Charade, Strait-Jacket, McHale's Navy, The Sons of Katie Elder, The Dirty Dozen, Shenandoah, The Flight of the Phoenix, Guns of the Magnificent Seven, The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, Cool Hand Luke, The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come, The Man from the Diners' Club, The Silent Witness, McHale's Navy, Mirage, Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte, Island of the Blue Dolphins, In Harm's Way, Hurry Sundown, Bandolero!, The Ballad of Josie, Gaily, Gaily, and The Pink Jungle.
Strother Martin: McLintock!, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Cool Hand Luke, Hurry Sundown, Sanctuary, Shenandoah, Harper, Nevada Smith, The Sons of Katie Elder, The Wild Bunch, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, True Grit, An Eye for an Eye, The Flim-Flam Man, Showdown, Invitation to a Gunfighter, and The Deadly Companions.
Clint Eastwood: The Dollars Trilogy, Hang 'Em High, Where Eagles Dare, The Witches, Coogan's Bluff, and Paint Your Wagon.
Eli Wallach: How the West Was Won, The Magnificent Seven, The Misfits, The Tiger Makes Out, Lord Jim, How to Steal a Million, A Lovely Way to Die, Seven Thieves, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Genghis Khan, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life, Ace High, Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man, The Brain, Mackenna's Gold, Kisses for My President, Act One, The Moon-Spinners, and The Victors.
Lee Van Cleef: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, For a Few Dollars More, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Posse from Hell, The Big Gundown, Sabata, Death Rides a Horse, Commandos, Day of Anger, and Beyond the Law.
Richard Burton: The Sandpiper, Where Eagles Dare, Ice Palace, The Longest Day, The Bramble Bush, Zulu, Becket, Cleopatra, What's New Pussycat?, The Night of the Iguana, The Spy Who Came In from the Cold, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, The Taming of the Shrew, Candy, Boom!, The Comedians in Africa, The Comedians, Doctor Faustus, Staircase, and Anne of the Thousand Days.
Paul Scofield: A Man for all Seasons, The Train, and Tell Me Lies.
Warren Beatty: All Fall Down, Splendor in the Grass, Bonnie and Clyde, Lilith, The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone, Mickey One, Promise Her Anything, and Kaleidoscope.
Albert Finney: Tom Jones, The Entertainer, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, Two for the Road, The Victors, Night Must Fall, Charlie Bubbles, and The Picasso Summer.
Lee Marvin: Hell in the Pacific, The Professionals, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Comancheros, Paint Your Wagon, Point Blank, The Killers, Donovan's Reef, Cat Ballou, Ship of Fools, Sergeant Ryker, Hell in the Pacific, The Dirty Dozen, and Point Blank.
Anthony Quinn: Behold a Pale Horse, Barabbas, Zorba the Greek, Lawrence of Arabia, Guns for San Sebastian, The Rover, San Sebastian 1746 in 1968, The Secret of Santa Vittoria, A Dream of Kings, The 25th Hour, The Happening, Lost Command, Marco the Magnificent, The Visit, A High Wind in Jamaica, Heller in Pink Tights, The Savage Innocents, Portrait in Black, The Guns of Navarone, The Magus, and The Shoes of the Fisherman.
Michael Caine: Hurry Sundown, The Magus, Zulu, The Ipcress File, Alfie, The Italian Job, Deadfall, Funeral in Berlin, Billion Dollar Brain, Battle of Britain, Gambit, The Wrong Box, Woman Times Seven, Play Dirty, Foxhole in Cairo, Solo for Sparrow, The Wrong Arm of the Law, The Bulldog Breed, and The Day the Earth Caught Fire.
Rex Harrison: Cleopatra, My Fair Lady, Doctor Dolittle, The Happy Thieves, Midnight Lace, The Agony and the Ecstasy, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, Staircase, The Honey Pot, and A Flea in Her Ear.
Sean Connery: The Longest Day, Dr. No, Marnie, Goldfinger, From Russia with Love, Macbeth, The Frightened City, On the Fiddle, Anna Karenina, Shalako, The Red Tent, You Only Live Twice, Un monde nouveau, The Hill, A Fine Madness, Thunderball, Woman of Straw, and The Bowler and the Bunnet.
Spencer Tracy: Judgment at Nuremberg, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Inherit the Wind, The Devil at 4 O'Clock, and It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
Chishû Ryû: Late Autumn, Otoko wa Tsurai yo, The Human Bullet, Japan's Longest Day, The End of Summer, An Autumn Afternoon, The Human Condition 3, and The Last War.
Martin Balsam: Psycho, A Thousand Clowns, Trilogy, The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, Around the World of Mike Todd, Me, Natalie, Around the World of Mike Todd, Hombre, Among the Paths to Eden, After the Fox, Harlow, The Bedford Incident, Seven Days in May, Suspense, Youngblood Hawke, Everybody Go Home, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Ada, Cape Fear, Route 66, and Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?.
Alan Bates: Zorba the Greek, Georgy Girl, Far from the Madding Crowd, Women in Love, King of Hearts, The Fixer, The Entertainer, Zorba the Greek, Nothing but the Best, Whistle Down the Wind, A Kind of Loving, The Caretaker, and The Running Man.
Alain Delon: Is Paris Burning?, Famous Love Affairs, Rocco and His Brothers, Purple Noon, The Leopard, Le Samouraï, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, Lost Command, L'Eclisse, The Joy of Living, The Devil and the Ten Commandments, Love at Sea, Carom Shots, Any Number Can Win, Joy House, The Unvanquished, Once a Thief, Texas Across the River, Adieu l'ami, Jeff, The Sicilian Clan, La Piscine, Spirits of the Dead, The Girl on a Motorcycle, The Last Adventure, and Diabolically Yours.
Peter Sellers: What's New Pussycat?, Casino Royale, Woman Times Seven, Dr. Strangelove, Lolita, The Millionairess, Never Let Go, Two-Way Stretch, The Wrong Arm of the Law, The Dock Brief, The Pink Panther, Only Two Can Play, Mr. Topaze, Waltz of the Toreadors, Heavens Above!, A Shot in the Dark, The World of Henry Orient, A Carol for Another Christmas, Casino Royale, Woman Times Seven, The bobo, The Party, The Magic Christian, and I Love You, Alice B. Toklas.
George C. Scott: The List of Adrian Messenger, The Hustler, Not with My Wife, You Don't!, The Flim-Flam Man, Dr. Strangelove, The Power and the Glory, The Crucible, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, The Bible: In the Beginning..., This Savage Land, and Petulia.
Walter Matthau: Charade, Fail Safe, The Fortune Cookie, The Odd Couple, Strangers When We Meet, Lonely Are the Brave, Mirage, Ensign Pulver, Island of Love, Who's Got the Action?, Candy, Cactus Flower, Hello, Dolly!, The Secret Life of an American Wife, and A Guide for the Married Man.
Jean-Louis Trintignant: Z, A Man and a Woman, The Great Silence, Austerlitz, Horace 62, Un homme à abattre, La Longue marche, Trans-Europ-Express, Le Combat dans l'île, So Sweet... So Perverse, L'Américain, Mata Hari, Agent H21, Journey Beneath the Desert, Il Sorpasso, Col cuore in gola, Death Laid an Egg, Les Biches, My Love, My Love, The Man Who Lies, Metti, una sera a cena, My Night at Maud's, The Libertine, The Sleeping Car Murders, Diamond Safari, Spotlight on a Murderer, Nutty, and Naughty Chateau.
Max von Sydow: The Greatest Story Ever Told, Shame, Hour of the Wolf, The Virgin Spring, Through a Glass Darkly, Bröllopsdagen, 4x4, Winter Light, Hawaii, Adventures of Nils Holgersson, The Mistress, Made in Sweden, The Passion of Anna, The Quiller Memorandum, Svarta palmkronor, The Reward, and Here Is Your Life.
Richard Attenborough: The Sand Pebbles, The Great Escape, Doctor Dolittle, The Angry Silence, Upgreen – And at 'Em, The Dock Brief, Only Two Can Play, The League of Gentlemen, All Night Long, Séance on a Wet Afternoon, The Third Secret, The Flight of the Phoenix, Only When I Larf, Guns at Batasi, The Magic Christian, Oh! What a Lovely War, and The Bliss of Mrs. Blossom.
Melvyn Douglas: Hud, Hotel, The Crucible, Companions in Nightmare, Rapture, Inherit the Wind, Lamp At Midnight, Advance to the Rear, A Very Close Family, The Americanization of Emily, and Billy Budd.
Woody Strode: Spartacus, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Sergeant Rutledge, The Last Voyage, Two Rode Together, The Sins of Rachel Cade, Che!, Once Upon a Time in the West, Boot Hill, Genghis Khan, Shalako, Black Jesus, The Professionals, Tarzan's Three Challenges, and 7 Women.
Yûsuke Kawazu: The River Fuefuki, Ken, Manji, Kiri no Hata, Cruel Story of Youth, Genocide, Fighting Elegy, and Black Lizard.
John Cassavetes: The Dirty Dozen, Rosemary's Baby, A Child Is Waiting, The Killers, Devil's Angels, Roma come Chicago, If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium, Machine Gun McCain, and The Webster Boy.
Laurence Harvey: The Outrage, Kampf um Rom, The Manchurian Candidate, The Ceremony, The Alamo, The Long and the Short and the Tall, BUtterfield 8, Walk on the Wild Side, The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm, The Running Man, A Girl Named Tamiko, Darling, Of Human Bondage, Summer and Smoke, Two Loves, The Doctor and the Devil, Rebus, The Spy with a Cold Nose, The Magic Christian, L'assoluto naturale, The Charge of the Light Brigade, A Dandy in Aspic, Life at the Top, The Outrage, and The Winter's Tale.
Omar Sharif: Mackenna's Gold, Behold a Pale Horse, Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, The Fall of the Roman Empire, Funny Girl, More Than a Miracle, Che!, Mayerling, Trois hommes sur un cheval, The Appointment, Genghis Khan, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, El mamalik, The Night of the Generals, Lawet El Hub, Nahna el talamiza, Gharam el assiad, Hobi al-Wahid, The Beginning and the End, The River of Love, A Rumor of Love, and There is a Man in our House.
George Peppard: How the West Was Won, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Carpetbaggers, House of Cards, Home from the Hill, The Victors, The Subterraneans, P.J.,What's So Bad About Feeling Good?, Pendulum, Operation Crossbow, The Third Day, Tobruk, Rough Night in Jericho, and The Blue Max.
James Garner: The Great Escape, Grand Prix, Duel at Diablo, 36 Hours, The Pink Jungle, A High Wind in Jamaica,Hour of the Gun, The Americanization of Emily, Cash McCall, The Children's Hour, Boys' Night Out, Action on the Beach, The Art of Love, Grand Prix: Challenge of the Champions, The Thrill of It All, Move Over, Darling, The Wheeler Dealers, Marlowe, Support Your Local Sheriff!, The Man Who Makes the Difference, Once Upon a Wheel, The Racing Scene, A Man Could Get Killed, How Sweet It Is!, and Mister Buddwing.
Donald Pleasence: The Great Escape, The Night of the Generals, You Only Live Twice, Creature of Comfort, Will Penny, Fantastic Voyage, The Greatest Story Ever Told, The Hallelujah Trail, The Caretaker, Suspect, No Love for Johnnie, The Shakedown, The Flesh and the Fiends, The Hands of Orlac, Hell Is a City, The Wind of Change, Circus of Horrors, Sons and Lovers, The Big Day, Dr. Crippen, Cul-de-sac, The Inspector, What a Carve Up!, Eye of the Devil, Matchless, Arthur? Arthur!, The Other People, The Madwoman of Chaillot, A Story of David, and Spare the Rod.
James Coburn: Charade, The Americanization of Emily, The Magnificent Seven, Hell Is for Heroes, The Great Escape, Our Man Flint, In Like Flint, The Man from Galveston, The Murder Men, Hell Is for Heroes, What Did You Do in the War, Daddy?, Duffy, Candy, The President's Analyst, Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round, Waterhole No. 3, Major Dundee, A High Wind in Jamaica, The Loved One, and Hard Contract.
Cary Grant: Charade, The Grass Is Greener, That Touch of Mink, Walk, Don't Run, and Father Goose.
Horst Buchholz: The Magnificent Seven, One, Two, Three, Fanny, Nine Hours to Rama, Marco the Magnificent, The Empty Canvas, Ankle Bone, Cervantes, That Man in Istanbul, Johnny Banco, and How, When and with Whom.
Jackie Gleason: Soldier in the Rain, The Hustler, Gigot, Requiem for a Heavyweight, Skidoo, Papa's Delicate Condition, How to Commit Marriage, and Don't Drink the Water.
Arthur Kennedy: Lawrence of Arabia, Barabbas, Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man, Claudelle Inglish, Cheyenne Autumn, Murder, She Said, Anzio, Shark!, A Minute to Pray, a Second to Die, Hail, Hero!, Nevada Smith,Murieta, Fantastic Voyage, Attack and Retreat, Joy in the Morning, Monday's Child, and Day of the Evil Gun.
Peter Finch: Kidnapped, The Trials of Oscar Wilde, The Day, No Love for Johnnie, In the Cool of the Day, I Thank a Fool, Girl with Green Eyes, The Pumpkin Eater, The Flight of the Phoenix, Judith, First Men in the Moon, Far from the Madding Crowd, 10:30 P.M. Summer, Come Spy with Me, The Greatest Mother of Them All, The Legend of Lylah Clare, and The Red Tent.
Hugh Griffith: How to Steal a Million,Exodus, Mutiny on the Bounty, Oliver!, The Counterfeit Traitor, The Citadel, Point of Departure, The Day They Robbed the Bank of England, The Inspector, Tom Jones, Term of Trial, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, Hide and Seek, The Bargee, The Amorous Adventures of Moll Flanders, On My Way to the Crusades, I Met a Girl Who..., Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mamma's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' So Sad, The Sailor from Gibraltar, The Fixer, Il marito è mio e l'ammazzo quando mi pare, and Brown Eye, Evil Eye.
Jason Robards: A Big Hand for the Little Lady, Hour of the Gun, Long Day's Journey into Night, A Thousand Clowns, Act One, By Love Possessed, Isadora, Tender Is the Night, Divorce American Style, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, Any Wednesday, Once Upon a Time in the West, and The Night They Raided Minsky's.
George Seagel: The Southern Star, No Way to Treat a Lady, Invitation to a Gunfighter, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Lost Command, The Quiller Memorandum, The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, King Rat, Act One, The Young Doctors, The Bridge at Remagen, The Girl Who Couldn't Say No, Bye Bye Braverman, and The New Interns.
Rod Taylor: Chuka, The Time Machine, Sunday in New York, The Glass Bottom Boat, 36 Hours, The Birds, Hotel, Nobody Runs Forever, The Hell with Heroes, One Hundred and One Dalmatians, Seven Seas to Calais, Colossus and the Amazon Queen, Dark of the Sun, The Liquidator, Young Cassidy, Fate Is the Hunter, Do Not Disturb, and A Gathering of Eagles.
Robert Ryan: Ice Palace, Billy Budd, The Longest Day, The Wild Bunch, The Dirty Dozen, Battle of the Bulge, The Professionals, Anzio, Captain Nemo and the Underwater City, A Minute to Pray, a Second to Die, Hour of the Gun, Custer of the West, The Busy Body, The Canadians, King of Kings, and The Crooked Road.
Christopher Plummer: Battle of Britain, The Sound of Music, The Fall of the Roman Empire, Inside Daisy Clover, The Royal Hunt of the Sun, Lock Up Your Daughters, Nobody Runs Forever, Oedipus the King, The Night of the Generals, and Triple Cross.
Michel Piccoli: Le Doulos, Contempt, Diary of a Chambermaid, La Guerre Est Finit, Les Creatures, The Young Girls of Rochefort, Belle De Jour, Danger: Diabolik, Dillinger is Dead, The Milky Way, Topaz, Lady L, The Day and the Hour, Masquerade, L'Invitée, Climats, Les Petits Drames, Adieu Philippine, La dragée haute, Le Bal des espions, Amazons of Rome, All About Loving, The Sleeping Car Murders, The War Is Over, The Game Is Over, Belle de Jour, Benjamin, Shock Troops, La Chamade, and La Prisonnière.
Tatsuya Nakadai: When a Woman Ascends the Stairs, Yojimbo,The Human Condition: A Soldier's Prayer, Immortal Love, Sanjuro, Harakiri ,High and Low, Kwaidan, The Sword of Doom, The Face of Another, Samurai Rebellion, Kill!, Goyokin, Portrait of Hell, Get 'em All, Daughters, Wives and a Mother ,Miren, A Woman's Life, Pressure of Guilt, Love Under the Crucifix, The Blue Beast, The Other Women, Kumo ga chigieru toki, Hakari, The Legacy of the 500,000, Saigo no shinpan, Blood End, Arijigoku sakusen, Kwaidan, Saigo no shinpan, Fort Graveyard, Cash Calls Hell, Illusion of Blood, Kojiro, The Age of Assassins, The Daphne, Today We Kill... Tomorrow We Die!, Rengō Kantai Shirei Chōkan: Yamamoto Isoroku, Blood End, Hitokiri, Eiko's 5000 Kilograms, and The Battle of the Japan Sea.
James Mason: Lolita, Duffy, Mayerling, The Sea Gull, Age of Consent, The Blue Max, Stranger in the House, The Deadly Affair, Georgy Girl, The Fall of the Roman Empire, The Pumpkin Eater, Genghis Khan, Lord Jim, The Uninhibited, Hero's Island, Torpedo Bay, Tiara Tahiti, The Trials of Oscar Wilde, The Marriage-Go-Round, and Escape from Zahrain.
Vincent Price: The Last Man on Earth, Witchfinder General, Convicts 4, Confessions of an Opium Eater, Tower of London, Tales of Terror, The Raven, Diary of a Madman, The Haunted Palace, The Masque of the Red Death, The Tomb of Ligeia, Twice-Told Tales, Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine, The Comedy of Terrors, City Under the Sea, The House of 1,000 Dolls, The Pit and the Pendulum, Nefertiti, Queen of the Nile, Rage of the Buccaneers, Beach Party, House of Usher, Master of the World, Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs, Spirits of the Dead, The Trouble with Girls, The Jackals, More Dead Than Alive, and The Oblong Box.
Jack Nicholson: The Raven, Easy Rider, The Little Shop of Horrors, The Shooting, Head, Hells Angels on Wheels, The Trip, The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, Psych-Out, Thunder Island, Back Door to Hell, Ride in the Whirlwind, Flight to Fury, The Wild Ride, The Broken Land, Studs Lonigan, Too Soon to Love, and The Terror.
Rock Hudson: Lover Come Back, Send Me No Flowers, The Last Sunset, Marilyn, The Spiral Road, Come September, Strange Bedfellows, Man's Favorite Sport?, A Gathering of Eagles, A Very Special Favor, Seconds, Tobruk, Ice Station Zebra, The Undefeated, Blindfold, and A Fine Pair.
Charlton Heston: El Cid, The Pigeon That Took Rome, 55 Days at Peking, The Greatest Story Ever Told, While I Run This Race, All About People, The Agony and the Ecstasy, Number One, Planet of the Apes, Counterpoint, Will Penny, Major Dundee, Khartoum, The War Lord, The Five Cities of June, and Diamond Head.
John Gavin: Psycho, Midnight Lace, Back Street, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Thoroughly Modern Millie, OSS 117 – Double Agent, Tammy Tell Me True, Spartacus, Pedro Páramo, A Breath of Scandal, and Romanoff and Juliet.
Stephen Boyd: Lisa, Billy Rose's Jumbo, Fantastic Voyage, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, The Big Gamble, Slaves, The Caper of the Golden Bulls, Shalako, Assignment K, The Bible: In the Beginning..., The Fall of the Roman Empire, Genghis Khan, The Oscar, The Third Secret, and Imperial Venus.
Dick Van Dyke: Bye Bye Birdie, Mary Poppins, Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N., The Art of Love, What a Way to Go!, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Divorce American Style, The Comic, Some Kind of a Nut, Fitzwilly, and Never a Dull Moment.